The final year of my twenties!

Holy shit! It's nearing end of July. As a result of not blogging regularly, be warned I'm probably going to burst in this blog.

I rushed home to get all of it out as much as possible, so I can make some extra space in my head to maintain a hypothetical vacuum.

10 years ago on July 19th, I landed in Singapore for the first time. What a saga it's been! So what's different between Shu now and the Shu who landed here 10 years ago? Summing up in a few words, I'd say the now-Shu is richer, more confident, wiser, more positive, more comfortable in her skin, happier and more out-spoken than that shy, timid 19-year girl who left home alone for the first time. It hasn't been a journey without adversity, but I've surfaced and I am doing alright. *Pats self on the back*

For all I know, the Shu of 10 years from now may find now-Shu to be highly conceited.

Sir Little John is away on vacation for 3 weeks! I was given a long list of to-dos in his absence but to be honest, without his actual presence, I drift to day dream mode too much. Actually, it's terrible. Left to myself, my hyperactive brain drives me crazy with mind chatter. I foresee more blog posts in the next few weeks.

We are bombarded these days with disturbing news of the second Malaysian passenger plane MH17 that met with an unfortunate disaster resulting in the loss of 298 precious lives. Not only that, there's more unrest and violence going around all over the world. I wish people would just stop trying to hurt and kill each other. In other curious news, the local library board has come under fire for planning to destroy three children's titles after it received e-mail complaints that the books are not "pro-family". Following public criticism, two of the remaining books have been moved to the adults section, where parents can opt to let their children read it under supervision.

And Tango Makes Three (based on a real zoo story) features two male penguins who behave as though they are a couple and raise a chick.

Shu thought to herself "Let's eat some non-Asian-ish dinner tonight - you know, food that hasn't been boiled beyond recognition or bathed in a sea of spices". So a cup of home made (and home grown) avocado milkshake, with raw tomatoes and a fat mushroom bun it was.

I went to a spa today. Who knew a simple bookworm can get rewarded with a complimentary spa on their birthday month for being loyal member of a particular book store chain! I double checked with trusted friend/ bookworm Katy Kat to make sure it wasn't some prank because it sounded too good to be true. I went anyway. And it was a good call. I explored a new area of Singapore and just like they promised, I relaxed my tensed muscles, reduced water retention and enhanced my blood circulation. Look at me blogging away!

After the "aromatherapy wellness treatment" and as I expected, I was enticed to sign up for an attractive 10-session package deal at $680 ("Interest free installments for credit card payment!! Get 2 additional sessions for free!! Get 12 body scrub sessions also for free if you sign up today!! Let me talk to my manager to get you a special 7-session package at a students' rate!!" Why, I'm not even a student). 

I guess I've become better at politely declining persuasive sales people. When faced with such situations, I now picture myself to be a brick wall and watch them attempt to walk past it after I've nicely said "No, Thank you." *evil grin* 

It took many years to develop this skill. I remember an occasion when as a student, I responded to quiz on TV and was notified I was the winner of a free facial and skin consultation session with a leading skin care company. I was a beggarly student back then and willing to pounce on any free lunches that came my way (Really Shu?? Didn't you go claim a free spa session just today??). So I went feeling like a real winner and after a pampering facial session, two aggressive saleswomen cornered me in a room and coerced me to sign up for a package deal. I desperately refused many times saying I only had a couple of hundreds left in my account to live through an entire vacation month and spending $180 was not an option, but they didn't let it go. In the end (very nearly in tears), I signed up just to get away from there, wasted a precious $180 and never even went to claim those paid facial treatments. I ended up borrowing cash from a friend to live through that semester break.

Another one of my housemates is leaving the country next month and we're down to two in a big house. Very unwillingly and with the intention of retaining our comfortable apartment, we advertised our master room to potential tenants. Day before yesterday, our new flatmates moved in. To protect their anonymity, I shall call them Brother Bear and Goldilocks. Sharing a living space with other humans is not always fun (they could be serial killers, for example) so I drafted a lengthy list of terms of conditions in case we end up with a bad experience. Also if problems escalate, a nitpicky and passive aggressive Shu is not pleasant to deal with.

Dear Brother Bear and Goldilocks,

We are happy to welcome you both as our flatmates! [Well, sort of.] 

Here's a re-cap of what we agreed on before you moved in and a few other things (that we may have failed to mention that day) which is better agreed upon as early as possible. If you have any concerns on any of the items below or want to add in any other conditions, we can discuss further.

1. The Contract
Your agreement with us is for the use of the master room from 19 July 2014 to 31 December 2014.
The monthly rent for the master room should be paid no later than the 28th of every month.
You will have to pay a little excess for the utilities in case you have family members visiting and the monthly bills go above average.
You will receive 1 copy of the keys for the master room, front door, gate and mailbox.

2. Utilities Usage
Your rental amount includes water, electricity and Internet (wi-fi).
Air conditioning is not included in your rental amount, but if you need it, we can arrange it at an additional charge since our monthly utility costs will then increase and there will be regular AC unit servicing charges.
You are free to use the Cable TV service while it is available and this will be considered as "complimentary".
We also hope that you will exercise good judgement in conserving water and electricity.

3. Use of common areas, appliances and other items
All common areas in the house can be used freely without restrictions.
Common appliances such as the washing machine, kettle, toaster, rice cooker, microwave, oven, TV and iron are for everyone's use with no restrictions.
Common expenses like the gas cylinder for cooking, toilet paper, kitchen towels, dishwashing liquid, cleaning fluids, small repairs not covered by the landlord, etc will be charged to the common house account to be shared by all of us.
Normally anyone can buy common items required, retain the receipt and claim it later.
Please buy your own laundry detergent.

[We missed to mention not to leave the toilet seat up. Grrr.]

4. Food
We have no restrictions on your cooking schedules.
You can use any of the utensils (saucepans, cups, dishware, etc) available in the kitchen.
For convenience, let's manage our accounts separately for food items such as vegetables, rice, bread, tea, milk powder, sugar, other groceries, etc.

5. Visitors
As a gesture of courtesy, please inform us in advance if you are expecting any visitors.
For the comfort of everyone, we try to entertain our visitors with minimal disturbances to the main tenants.

6. Keeping our living space clean
As agreed, we will take turns to clean the common areas in the house (hall, toilet upstairs, kitchen + toilet downstairs + laundry area) within the agreed dates.
Cleaning will be done at least once a month or more if required .
General cleanliness of common areas and courtesy is expected for the comfort of all tenants e.g. not leaving dirty dishes in the sink for too long, emptying dustbins regularly to keep away cockroaches, keeping the fridge clean and free of old food, cleaning any spills, removing laundry from the clothsline when dry, etc.

7. Renewal of contract
Subject to agreement from you and us, we can consider renewing the contract for another term of 6-months or 1-year. This can be finalised around Oct-Nov 2014. Note that the final approval lies with the landlord and the Housing Development Board.

8. Termination of the contract
As this is a 6-month contract and our ability to keep the house depends on us having enough people to share the total rent, we hope you will understand that and not terminate the contract early so we won't have to go through the trouble of looking for new tenants once again or end up paying more individually till our contract ends.

9. Conflicts of interest
Let's agree to communicate openly and directly on any concerns so we can resolve them early and avoid any unpleasant situations. 

Please review all of the above and let us know if you have any concerns. Otherwise, drop us a reply to confirm your acceptance of our conditions. [WE HAVEN'T SEEN AN ACKNOWLEDGEMENT YET.]

Thanks and we hope you will have a comfortable stay in your new home in Singapore.


It's late, and I should probably blog about my holiday in Sri Lanka another time. 

PS: I turned 29 this month! 

Filling the voids

I have completed six months at work. Since I could not find a suitable picture on the internet to describe my interpersonal progress at work, I made an amateur attempt to draw it. 

No snails were harmed in the making of this picture

~ ~ ~

People who have fallen into their perfect niche of a career are unmistakable. The doctor in my neighbourhood clinic is one of them. He sees a good number of sickly and depressed people per day and yet in all the times I have visited, he used scribbled up diagrams to explain more about my disease, even without me asking any questions. I have only visited him when I had the flu and so far, he's drawn my throat to tell me how infected my tonsils were and another time, he drew the cycle of events that follow a flu and how we can block certain points in order to prevent progression to the next symptom! He is so cheerful, kind and even generous with recommending the number of days to stay off work. I also noticed he uses very mild and minimal medicines to treat patients. My spirits are usually up a notch when I walk out of his consultation room. Not only that, I wonder why he charges a little less than what a government clinic does.

I should send him a postcard when I move out from this neighborhood.

~ ~ ~

A new anti-rape bill was passed in India recently. This came about in response to the horrific gang rape case in December that attracted much local and international attention. If the case didn't get so much attention, I doubt the bill would have been passed by now. It's a small victory, really, because it's going to take a while before its effectiveness shows up in the statistics - during which time more victims will pay the price. It will take even longer to change the existing attitudes of a religious and conservative culture. This is true not just in India; it happens in every culture and every society where extremist religious/patriarchal views dominate and in cultures that are alien to the concept of gender equality.

On one side of the world there are women who lead relatively safe lives with equal opportunities in career and education. And on another side of the world there are men deciding that women need a male guardian's permission to travel, or that they are born to serve as sex slaves, or they don't need an education, or that they cant drive a car, or that they should be flogged for being raped  - and these men so sure in their 'righteous' beliefs just like we are certain the sky is blue. And most women in these unfortunate parts of the world, though unhappy, have it instilled in their minds that this is indeed their fate and that there is nothing better for them in this life. Fighting for their human rights is a risky move when even the national laws don't support them.

An article that was shared by a friend of mine stated that every rapist is someone's son. It explores how parents have the opportunities to change the course of life events in a male child that may lead to a fateful decision like rape. I don't think parents bringing up sons in environments where gender equality and respect for all differences are encouraged and practiced need to worry much. It's the other parents who have a greater role to play in the lives of the sons they bring up.

Everyone's a journalist these days

Our world at large is in crisis - always was and always will be, I suppose. And if we choose to acknowledge it, there's so much injustice and destruction going on in varying types and degrees at every moment. 

Facebook - a source of entertainment and distraction

I have grown a habit of going through the Facebook home page every morning. It's much like reading a paper, only it's more personalised. Once you "Like" certain Facebook pages, there'll be a mix of current news, entertainment, gossip, funnies, science, travel, sports, philosophy, etc on the home page, in addition to posts made by friends. While I do have to endure a bit of unsavory posts, I usually find interesting thoughts and shares posted by the different personalities I have on my friends list. Not everyone is outright vocal about their opinions, what they do or use Facebook as a public outreach medium, but the opportunities that the internet and social media have presented to share information, challenge beliefs and gather support is fascinating. Just as much as we differentiate ourselves over religion, race, gender, education, social status, experiences or other beliefs and make it a cause to feed our sense of pride and superiority (leading to more harm than anything else), sometimes, we use these differences to find beneficial causes to unite under and advocate change. So on some mornings, I am touched to see some people - who have chosen different battles for whatever personal reasons - share posts and silently fight for human rights, women's rights, children's rights, animal's rights, peace, the environment or take a stand against poverty, discrimination and ignorance.

There might be hope for us, after all.

[After note: This writer captured some of what I was trying to express in a better way in his article.]

The Animal Whisperer

Today, I attended the most enjoyable interview of my short-lived life.

It's not that I feel confident of getting the job (I really don't, given the statistics), but I just tasted what an interview for a "dream job" meant to be like. For the first time in my life, I was myself and fought for myself in an interview and was left feeling even more energized to fight again, if I had to. So that in itself is a small victory. Actually getting the job, would be a definite plus!

I didn't go with much hopes this morning. I woke up late, did a little bit of rushed internet research on the organisation, the new project and the job, didn't make the best effort at dressing up (I let my natural messy hair be instead of getting a temporary 'straight look' at a saloon like I usually do for interviews**), got late and had to catch a cab. It's not that the job prospect didn't excite me. The top position I was eyeing on (administration + conservation efforts related) required Mandarin as a pre-requisite so I knew I had nearly zero chances with negotiating on that one. Also, it was a job fair where hundreds of hopefuls walked in and mass interviews were conducted on site. And today was only day one of this two-day fair.

After registration and joining the long queues of applicants, we were told that we can only pick one position of choice to be interviewed for. Seeing my chances for the (safe) first choice being non-existent, I went with the second one. My second position of choice was the actual "dream job" (working closely with animals) - why second? because we all know those types come with big sacrifices and compromises. During my long wait to be called in, I had plenty of time to think back on why I wanted this job. Really, it wasn't that hard for someone who's very first ambition was to be a vet and still loves animals and the great outdoors. One of the interviewers was an easy going guy who appeared to be very passionate about the field so I suppose the conversations were easier and enjoyable.

**Most ordinary job interviews are so restrictive, aren't they? The internet is full of advice on how to dress at the interview, what to say, what not to say, what to expect, what the interviewers want to hear, see, etc. The picture it paints is "Apart from your credentials, the job prefers certain stereotypes over others, so if you are a little different, buck up and get in line with the rest or risk losing the job". So nearly everyone dresses alike (even if they don't like excessive make-up or heels or chemically re-bonded/ permed hair), learns the same model answers (for what their weaknesses or career ambitions are) and tell everything an interviewer likes to hear (like being an extrovert or love working in teams or is fine with working extra long hours). Goodness, if I were an interviewer, I might be sick of interviewing what appears to be programmed clones. All that said, interviews are too short to get to know and judge a candidate fairly so appearances and words uttered account for a lot. And not everyone has the luxury to apply to and interview for ideal jobs.

Urgh. Some jack-ass spoilt it for all us bubble tea lovers 

While digging up on Pink Dot SG spotted on a friend's Facebook profile, I came across this incredibly moving speech given by the recipient of this year's "Humanist of the Year 2012" award (presented by the Humanist Society of Singapore). This speech not only gives a different light to the major topic at hand, it also emphasizes how much more tolerance and acceptance we need to develop for the many, many types of differences that exist in our society today. On a positive note, I can see that society is (slowly) moving in a forward direction towards equality in human rights, thanks to the internet and those who dare to take action.

Self-absorbia

Know what people with comfortable lives and plenty of time on their hands do often? They become self-absorbed in their own lives. Then they begin to look around, compare themselves to others and see what they are lacking in their lives. Soon, they begin to feel sorry for themselves. Then they spend their days and nights trying to figure what they could do different, to have the life they dream of.

In the time that their minds are pre-occupied with themselves, it is very easy to forget their beginnings, how some of their actions negatively affect others, the things they've taken for granted, the values that they stood for, small acts they could do to make the lives of others better and the needs of loved ones around them.

Ever so often, someone or something knocks me off my orbit in this self-absorbed universe (kudos to friends who do that!).