Reptiles Rock!

Several weeks of training as a Docent have come to an end. Next week is the assessment. I'm quite nervous, knowing I can manage the theory, but perhaps not so well for the public speaking element of it.

For all my life, I have deliberately avoided situations and opportunities that involved any type of public speaking. And at age 27, I am feeling the consequences of it. On a positive note, it's comforting to know I have taken steps to work through it and in the spirit of doing something I love, I have conditioned myself to be okay with failing, taking feedback from the trainers and practicing it until I get it right. The other day, I was watching a TED talk and the speaker mentioned that in a survey conducted, "Death" was rated as the No. 4 fear, while "Public Speaking" was the first most feared thing that a majority had picked. That means most people felt that dying was a better alternative to giving a speech!

I can relate, actually. I recall many years back, I had to give a speech in school as one of the newly appointed Head Prefects. Back then, I would have happily turned down the title just so I can avoid giving The Speech before hundreds of people that included my family, teachers and friends, but that was not an option. With lots of help in rehearsing the lines and moral support from my best bud in school, I survived that fateful day. I could not feel my legs for most part of the speech, but that wasn't the worst part! Nearer to the end of my speech, my attention got fixated on a small child sitting at one of the furthest rows and I blanked out on my words. I made a quick comeback (I can't be too sure for how long I was gone) by repeating where I left off and got on with the rest of it, but I have not voluntarily opted to go through such an experience up until now!

Why is this a commonly occurring phobia in the human psychology? Here are some tips to help.

My highlight yesterday was getting to handle the live exhibit at our station (a small Royal Python aka, a Ball Python) while returning it to its enclosure. It was such a magnificent (non-venomous) creature that for a brief moment, I felt the selfish fascination that drives some people to go to great lengths to acquire them as pets and why the illegal pet trade still thrives. It was very pretty, soft and I was so mesmerised by how it glided so effortlessly along my hand! Part of me kept thinking please let me take it home for a day, I promise I will look after it well, but the sensible part of me reminded that the initial desire of owning one wears off and they belong in the wild in their natural habitats and not in our homes (in less-than-ideal conditions) for our entertainment.

Royal Pythons, being small-sized and docile, are sought out pets leading to much efforts by authorities to combat illegal trafficking and trade of these animals

Live animals are a great conversation starter with visitors. It is very easy to capture their attention as they are naturally curious and use it as an opportunity to educate them. They like to hear things they didn't already know about the animals. Here's an example; Why is a Royal Python also called a Ball Python? Answer: No, it's not the skin patterns, it's because they curl into a tight ball when threatened and hide the head safely inside, so that a predator finds it too big to be eaten. Yesterday, I met twin girls of about five years of age, who were highly fascinated by a stuffed crocodile specimen. They asked me, with the most serious attitude on their faces, "Does this crocodile have a brother crocodile and a sister crocodile?". For a moment there, I stumbled to think of a satisfactory answer. Trying not to laugh, I had to tell them, "Yes, he does". The experiences gained during visitor interactions can vary and are anything but predictable.

It's been great looking forward to the training sessions every Sunday. The facts I have been learning about crocodiles, alligators, gharials, snakes, lizards, turtles, tortoises and terrapins each week have been extremely interesting! And to go back each week with new knowledge of these animals and observe them for real is like seeing them through a new layer of understanding and respect. The more I learn, the more intrigued I am by the evolutionary connections they share with other species. Crocs are the closest living cousins to dinosaurs and they have not changed much in structure for over 200 million years (no need to, they are perfect as they are!). To think they are extensively killed for their hides to make handbags, shoes and the like is depressing (why aren't we humans born with naturalistic intelligence by default?). It's even baffling to learn that crocs are more closely related to birds than lizards, and how their four-chambered hearts are structurally similar to those of birds and mammals. Python skeletons have small vestigial limbs (showing that at one time in history, their ancestors walked and eventually found no use for it!). Then, some lizards have no limbs (they lost the use of them over time). Cool stuff.

Crocodilians - the ultimate mean machines of the wild, but not so appreciated for the crucial roles they play in nature as sanitation squads and in keeping prey populations under control

Ahhh, there are SO MANY interesting facts to learn and share about reptiles! I can't wait to start...

Un-wiring and Re-wiring the Brain Circuits

It's about time to do something about my chorophobia (yes, they even coined a term for the irrational fear of dancing!), which is but a small side effect of my larger and more complex issue of social anxiety. 

It's hard to understand all the factors that led me into being like this. For all I know it was a slow transformation that occurred subconsciously for many many years. But what I do know now and what actually matters is that nearly all these associated fears are irrational and worse, it holds me back from enjoying the things I like, getting the things I want and living my life to the truest potential. Sometimes, the solutions aren't too clear or easy, yet sometimes, it can be as simple as strapping yourself to a paraglider + paragliding pilot and jumping off a cliff or even buying a $20 Groupon voucher for 4 dance classes.

This was an open Hip Hop class for beginners. Salsa wasn't really my thing, as I found out last year. After a rather disappointing interview earlier in the day, I was very much looking forward to this and made my way there early to sign up. I did the mistake of skipping dinner and tea before the class.

Very soon the instructor walked in and made us do some warm-ups. Ouch! Those hurt. Then we all stood up to start, and WHOOSH - Shuri was hit by a wave of postural hypertension. She announced "Today, we are going to learn a very sensual dance and it involves a lot of touching yourself" O_O Anyhow, it turned out she didn't choose her words carefully because it wasn't as bad as she put it. Sure, there were some hip shaking and butt pointing, but nothing too freaky. 

The class was actually okay. The instructor was really good at what she does and a pleasure to watch. It seemed to come naturally to her and she clearly enjoyed dancing [Awww, I wanna be able to dance just like that!]. There were about thirty students packed in the studio but it was just nice that no one bumped their hands and feet on others. Some of the students were very good, some bad and some in-between. To my nerves' relief, I didn't know anyone and no one seemed to care about the others because they were all struggling to keep up with the moves. I picked a spot all the way at the back and later, suffered trying to get views of the instructor at the front. I was easily one of the worst students in the class. Although I followed the first half of the choreography, things got complicated later, I got a little disheartened and messed up all the steps subsequently. I even had to skip doing one of the twirls, because it seriously made me dizzy. Blacking out and hitting the glass was the last thing Miss Self-Conscious on behavioral therapy needed!

Ignoring social anxiety for the moment, I realised I had so many other issues to work on. First of all, my brain keeps getting confused over mirror images and it's relation to my left and right. I vaguely remember I had this issue while trying out Dance Central on the X-box kinect. As I was following the instructor's image on the mirror in front, I kept wondering if I was doing it right. Then, I have BAD, no wait, I have NO mind-body coordination. My brain has spent too many years worrying about how I'll look or what others will think of me while I make an ass of myself, that I haven't spent enough time learning to move or coordinate the different parts of my body. Maybe I should have spent more time observing my movements (rather than looking for irregularities of my appearance) in mirrors like normal people do. For all my brain knows, it is fixed to a stump of a torso and four appendages that are the legs and hands and complex coordination is...not possible. Following the instructor and keeping up was therefore overwhelming. Next, remembering the sequence of the moves was very tough. And finally, without practice and persistence, I'll be going nowhere further than square one. 

At one point she said "Don't be too stressed, just imagine you are a diva!" [Gee, I wonder what that is like.]

Anyway, she left us with some helpful and hopeful advice saying, "Don't be too self conscious, you have to find a way to break out if it. I myself was extremely self conscious when I started out. It's only after you manage that, can you really enjoy dancing."

Man, I'm so looking forward to this movie. The background stories of the characters are often cheesy in this series of movies, but the choreography is guaranteed to be mind blowing. Kathryn McCormick, Travis Wall and Twitch from "So You Think You Can Dance" will be involved as characters and choreographers in this movie. 

What good are your ideas, if you won't share them?

It's been an exciting day overall.

At work, I got picked as a co-editor to initiate a department newsletter (a great suggestion from someone else). Recently, they have been trying to involve the staff and get them to share good ideas in line with the Company's core values. It was a great initiative which saw many brilliant ideas come out from seemingly dull, robotic people. The effect of just two sessions of department meetings to discuss the team's ideas have turned out rather remarkable. The team has bonded, they are more comfortable around each other and watch out for each other. The quieter ones with insecurities, particularly with communication, have taken their first steps in overcoming these weakness.

So back to the newsletter. I had some experience with gathering small articles and supervising the different stages of a quarterly newsletter in my previous job. I didn't know I enjoyed so much, until today when I found myself scribbling away the layout of a 4-paged newsletter in a matter of 20 minutes. And we were given 3 weeks to complete this task. Of course, it will be subjected to the opinions and criticisms of various persons. But I can't wait to get this rolling! Actually, I am a bit too free at work these days, through no fault of mine. So anything that diverts from the usual workload gets me excited!

Without my Bumblebee, I now have to rely on taxis and the generous offers of family and co-workers for lifts. It has brought me back to a world I was not in touch with for a long time. I walk outdoors more, I observe people on the road more and might I add, I am more relaxed during my trip home. Driving is a stressful activity requiring alertness at all times, to make sure everyone being transported reaches home safely. I'm even considering trying out the bus one of these days! Thinking back, I can't believe my mother let me go alone on a public bus in my home country when I was aged 11. I had to beg her to let me do it, and she did take the chance and in doing so, planted the first seeds of independence in my head.

I was thrilled to finally have the blog address of one of my friends! Now, all 3 of you lovely people, the only followers of my humble blog, are bloggers!!!! And another friend, who I have been nagging to blog for over an year, joked that I have started a cult. No doubt I am eager to get inside the heads of my friends (not meaning to sound creepy), but the real reason I hound this is because I have so much confidence in your writing abilities and you all are good human beings with good things to teach the world and because I know it will bring you joy to have an outlet for creativity and imagination.

Today, I proved to myself that the working lady of the 21st century, while making traditional dosas out of an instant mixture, can chat with her friends on MSN Messenger/ Whatsapp, social network on Facebook/ LinkedIn, tend to her emails and catch up with her family at the same time. What she forgot was to keep count of the number of dosas she was eating and ended up feeling too stuffed after!

The pen IS mightier than the sword

I overheard an interesting conversation about alcohol back on my way from work yesterday...... It started with two of them comparing notes on how much alcohol they could hold before they got wasted, with one saying 10 shots of cocktails or 6 shots of either whiskey or tequila. The other one who obviously could not hold that much, was in awe and tipped his hat off to her.Then the talk goes on to favourite types of alcoholic beverages. One said beer is the best. Another said wine tastes better. But all of them were in agreement that most other types taste like lighter fluid or gasoline. Then they spoke of what happens to people who didn't know their limits and tolerance levels. The most common thing was of course throwing up large quantities of gut contents (and one experienced person even mentioned it was not fun to be in the viscinity of someone throwing up). Another possibility is falling asleep or passing out and not remembering anything afterwards. Some others might giggle hysterically or get overly emotional. Then, there are the ones who loose their inhibitions and might try, for example, taking off clothes or harassing other folk.

Nuff said about that. o_O

I have figured 5 simple things that together, hypothetically, keeps me in perpetual state of contentment
1. Socialising (online and offline) with my closest friends
2. Tending to interests; music (even just listening to it), reading (inspirational things mostly) and blogging
3. Given responsibilities that will lead to beneficial outcomes for many and and afterwards being appreciated/ existence acknowledged (notice the high level of expectations)
4. Traveling to new places, preferably natural habitats like the sea, forests, mountains, etc
5. Knowing that I am safe around family

So there is really no wonder I can't jumpstart my engines these days to work towards long term goals and aspirations. And then I am a big fat lazy ball of cotton. *sigh*

Off I go to work, it's gonna be a shit busy day! BUT it's the last day of the week!

Here's a Gem, among the masses... a human being I deeply respect and idolise, especially after that speech. The write up of his lecture is totally worth the read.

http://www.espncricinfo.com/srilanka/content/story/522183.html

"No pain, No gain"

When life takes a dip, one has to find ways to crawl back up.

The other day I tried wall climbing for the first time. To my not-so-surprise, climbing came naturally to me. I recall, in my younger years, I hardly stayed on the ground and every tree in the garden with branches that could support my weight meant territory to conquer. Even the instructor admitted that for a first-time wall climber, I did pretty well! It takes alot of stamina, determination and concentration to make your way up to the top. That said about a climbing wall, Life in general seems no different. Halfway through my second climb, I was ready to quit; "I'm done for today", "My arms are too tired", "I need a few minutes to rest", "That's enough", "I can't anymore" were some complaints thrown at the instructor who ignored my pleas for the most part and kept on saying "No pain, no gain". He managed to get me to climb the wall 4 times, when I was very ready to quit at attempt no. 2 and go home.

The whole experience left me with quite an impression, complete with widespread muscular pains lasting several days and a much-needed push of encouragement on climbing the wall of Life.