Rediscovering my roots

Shu's Toastmasters Club celebrated the year end party on 28th June 2014. This year's theme was "International Day" and despite Shu's anti-social tendencies, she decided to participate. The actual reasons that changed her mind elude her now. 

This post is mostly to highlight all the incredible people who stepped up to my hour of need (and at times showed more enthusiasm than I did!) and how this random social event sent me on a nostalgic trip doing things out of norm to rediscover my roots.

The announcement of the party set in motion several missions:

• Find a traditional dress and get dressed in it!
• Prepare a Sri Lankan food item
• Prepare a 2-minute speech about the country
• As the day's Table Topics Master, prepare 10 topics in line with the theme

The dress

In a state of panic, I turned to my Fashion Advisor (aka. the Sister) for help. She found a good-hearted Aunt who went out of her way to donate one of her daughter's office saris and get it altered to my measurements. This blue sari travelled from the Aunt's place to my parents' place.

My mother felt that the sari wasn't traditional enough for the occasion and although I was of a similar opinion, I didn't want to object after all the trouble the Aunt took (she even sent me a hand-drawn guide on how to wear a sari). In the events that followed, my mother combed the streets of Kandy town to find me a very traditional batik sari to be worn in the "Kandyan" style. This red and black batik sari then traveled to Singapore, along with matching jewelry (some of which were heirlooms handed down from my grandmother to my mother) through the dad of one of my housemates. The Aunt's blue sari also made its way to Singapore and I've made a note to put it to good use at another opportunity.

The goods traveled a long way in time and distance to grace this event!

Dressing up in a traditional sari is quite a challenge for anyone who rarely wears it. Long ago, a sari involved wrapping oneself in several hundred metres of cloth kept in place by a million safety pins (and that's a mild exaggeration), but now there is also the convenient option of something called a "ready-made" sari for dummies which involves the minimum amount of cloth required and far fewer safety pins. My housemate stuck to her word and stayed back home on her weekend to help me dress up. For this, I was immensely grateful.

Many good compliments were received regarding the dress, including this one from my closest classmates from high school

The food item

I'm not the best cook in the family and I'm not even a sweet-tooth. About 2 weeks in advance, I asked my mother for the simplest recipe she can think of. So she gave me a couple of recipes which she though would suit my level of skill and experience in making a traditional sweets (which was near-zero!).

I did a trial run of something called "naran kavum" which is basically a sugary grated coconut ball coated and deep fried in a batter of rice flour (yes, it is actually very simple to make in theory). A very willing colleague accompanied me to Little India to find cardamoms and coconut for this recipe as well as a traveling bag for me to take home.

It wasn't a great success - the coconut mixture took over half hour to set, which shouldn't be the case. It refused to bind properly into balls. When I looked at the packet of wheat flour in our cupboard (which my mother told was a good trick to help with binding), it was inhabited by a tiny nation of grain weevils. Although I was tempted to use a bit of that flour, I didn't and instead, poured some "kithul treacle" as damage control. The end product looked authentic but barely passed in terms of taste and it was way too sugary for my tastes!

 

Shu's certified weavil-free "naran kavum"

As I was expressing my anxieties to Katy Kat over repeating the same recipe for the party, she very kindly offered to bake a Sri Lankan "Love Cake" for me. I jumped on the offer in a flash before this chef could change her mind! After what I assume was a long Skype-guided tutorial session on her mom's perfected recipe, Katy Kat had her second (and successful) attempt at baking a Love Cake! Goodness knows what trouble she went through to find the ingredients and bake this delicious crunchy/ nutty/ aromatic cake. She tells me I was fortunate that she accidentally found crunchy melon strips in Singapore for this recipe which we previously assumed was found only in Sri Lanka!

It all turned well. Everyone, including the party guests enjoyed the cake!

(Photo courtesy of Katy Kat)

 Shu also made this tag well in advance, but no one at the party had the same idea so I didn't use it at the party

The Event

                                                    Plenty of options even for vegetarians

(photos courtesy of a member who I'll call DB)

The party was a great success. We had guests consisting of 9 nationalities from all around the world; Singapore, Mauritius, India, China, Sri Lanka, England, Hong Kong, Cameroon and Malaysia. They were dressed in their national costumes and for dinner we feasted on a huge spread of mostly home-made international cuisine. It was a fun night of chatting, eating, getting to know more about each other's culture through food, stories and playing games. Not once did I look at a clock like I usually do at social events.

With all energy spent on preparations and rushing straight from work, I completely missed out on preparing a decent 2-minute speech and so I declined the offer to present it during the party. I however volunteered for the role of Table Topics Master since I quite enjoy preparing topics for this session of the Toastmasters tradition.

I was also voted "Best Dressed", an award that I jointly shared with Mrs Cameroon.

Making a celebratory toast with Sprite! 

(photos courtesy of a member who I'll call DB)

GPS recalibrating...

Hello.

Today, I feel like a stranger on my own blog! It's been awhile since I've been able to get in touch with my inner self and have a good enough conversation to document here. Without this hobby, my life feels like it's missing a tiny but essential piece, which is why I decided to come here today in an attempt to revive this creative outlet which has helped me in the past to find myself.

As life flows by in an automated routine, I'm beginning to feel like I'm losing my bearings and the sense of purpose. What were my beginnings? Where was it that I was supposed to go? What was it that I enjoyed doing? With whom did I like to hang out?

Right.

I have the all the maps, plans and lists. But is this what I want to do? Really, would it be worth the trouble?Why can't I keep doing what I'm doing now? Is my zeal clouded by weariness?

Where am I?

~ ~ ~

The Toastmasters meetings held every fortnight have developed into somewhat of an interest. I actually look forward to it. I still am failing badly at addressing the public with vocal expression and thinking on my feet when put on the spot. I assume that the skill of public speaking is going to be one of those long distance marathons I have to run in life when I'm no athlete. But besides that, listening to the speeches and different points of view of other members have been slowly expanding my tiny universe. Most often, topics are varied, contains human emotion and are well thought out, making them good brain food. It's also a refreshing change to see depth to a human character during the brief moments that they make themselves vulnerable and exposed in a speech.

The people at the Toastmasters meetings who were strangers and made me feel anxious three months ago are mostly my friends now and I no longer feel threatened by them. I actually feel it's okay to fail in a speech in front of their eyes.

Shu survives the first speech. Now there's nine more to go!

The World of Speechcraft

This post is not about people who love to march out there and be leaders.

I am not a huge fan of being a leader among the masses. Not because I prefer being a follower each time, but because it involves interacting with people, it is energy-draining, it means additional responsibility, it draws too much attention to myself and it interferes with my primary preference of being a quiet observer. The only time I would willingly volunteer for the post would be if the ship I was in was really sinking fast and there was absolutely no one else to take the helm.

 Shu's impressions on being elected a leader

Back in year 2001, the senior teachers in my school decided to give me the title of Head Prefect. Up until then in all the long years that they knew me, I never displayed the widely accepted leadership qualities like good communication, assertiveness, self-confidence or being a socialite - so while I felt honoured, it did come as a surprise. I suspect the only reason I got it at the time was because I had the best balanced track record of good behaviour (seriously, how much damage can a quiet, dreamy kid do?), studies and sports in class and being an all-rounder in those areas was a prerequisite for the post.

My term didn't start off well. The tiny speech I had to give at the Induction and Awards ceremony that year in front of a hundred students, teachers and parents was a bit of a disaster. Despite my best friend's efforts to help me practice the speech until I knew all my lines by heart, I forgot them on stage on the most important day.

The Speech went something like this (dotted lines indicate actual words which elude my memory now):

Shu: Good afternoon everyone.......................................................................

.....................................................................................................................

......................................................I thank you all for coming (ends abruptly)

[Gets distracted looking at an object in a distance and forgets the lines. Not sure for how long I was gone]

Shu: Ummm...

[Recalls the lines after a very long pause]

Shu: I thank you all for coming and ...............................................................

...............................................(this time, manages to end speech correctly)

The only priceless memory of that day was seeing my parents glowing with pride as I came down from the stage after being inducted the Head Prefect and walked over to hug them. Everything else was mostly traumatic.

Public speaking was never my strong suit. I am soft-spoken in nature preferring to act in the shadows over shining in the spotlight. I hardly voice out my opinions in social settings. My thoughts take too long to manifest themselves into strings of utterable words and very often, the moment of impact is long gone by the time they are uttered. And nearing 30, I have mastered the art of successfully dodging group activities and careers that require public speaking skills. On some level, I knew I had to eventually address all my irrational fears associated with public speaking, so I put "Join a Toastmasters Club" towards the very end of my bucket list (after "Swim with whales" and "Give a solo violin performance on stage").

Due to a recent turn of events, I had to cross off this bucket list item much earlier than planned.

Being a Docent at the zoo meant that once a month I had no choice but to give a confident commentary on King Cobras and conservation of reptiles to the large group of visitors that gather on Sundays to watch a snake feeding session. While I was confident in my facts and the command of English, organising the speech and conquering a stage was always a challenge, that only got negligibly easier with time. On the days that the cobra was shedding and there was no feeding session or a commentary, I was quite relieved (overjoyed, even). 

This went on for months until one day, I was asked to evaluate and grade the commentaries of two new recruits since no seniors were available that day. I protested (unsuccessfully) saying I was bad at it myself and that I felt in no way qualified to evaluate others in an area I was not confident in. It was a strange experience being in an evaluator's shoes and giving constructive criticisms to my juniors on all the the points they had to improve on, like maintaining eye contact or projecting the voice. I observed first hand what my own shortcomings in public speaking would look like to my audience. I decided then that I had to pull myself together and get past this irrational fear since I'll need the skills for the causes I deeply care about. How else will I garner public support to fight for those creatures that need to be protected, for example?

The Toastmasters Club offers a non-intimidating and encouraging setting for many people with the same problem I have. It's like going to a clinic for STDs. Everyone there has or had one before and it is encouraging to see that most people have been successfully cured with proper medication (a lot of consistent practice - in the case of delivering speeches)! I had the initial urges to bolt from the gathering of strangers and never come back, but I'm glad I calmed my nerves and stayed. 

 A very fitting animation on the science of stage fright

I had to give two impromptu speeches so far. The first one was really bad with me having a brain black-out at 0:53 seconds. The second day's speech was slightly better with me sticking around until 1:59 minutes and feeling only a little light-headed. There's an overwhelming load of things to learn, pay attention to and adopt, but I feel hopeful and inspired by watching some of their experienced speakers with great stage presence.

Coincidentally, a few days after I attended my first Toastmasters meeting, I was elected the Reptile Station Head from my group of Docents. 

"I'm sorry, I work a 6-day job and I won't be able to attend any meetings and such on Saturdays," I said, hoping for an overruling of their decision.

"Nevermind, we will help you!" they said.

and so, Shu fell into another hole.

Photos courtesy of Google Images.

Reptiles Rock!

Several weeks of training as a Docent have come to an end. Next week is the assessment. I'm quite nervous, knowing I can manage the theory, but perhaps not so well for the public speaking element of it.

For all my life, I have deliberately avoided situations and opportunities that involved any type of public speaking. And at age 27, I am feeling the consequences of it. On a positive note, it's comforting to know I have taken steps to work through it and in the spirit of doing something I love, I have conditioned myself to be okay with failing, taking feedback from the trainers and practicing it until I get it right. The other day, I was watching a TED talk and the speaker mentioned that in a survey conducted, "Death" was rated as the No. 4 fear, while "Public Speaking" was the first most feared thing that a majority had picked. That means most people felt that dying was a better alternative to giving a speech!

I can relate, actually. I recall many years back, I had to give a speech in school as one of the newly appointed Head Prefects. Back then, I would have happily turned down the title just so I can avoid giving The Speech before hundreds of people that included my family, teachers and friends, but that was not an option. With lots of help in rehearsing the lines and moral support from my best bud in school, I survived that fateful day. I could not feel my legs for most part of the speech, but that wasn't the worst part! Nearer to the end of my speech, my attention got fixated on a small child sitting at one of the furthest rows and I blanked out on my words. I made a quick comeback (I can't be too sure for how long I was gone) by repeating where I left off and got on with the rest of it, but I have not voluntarily opted to go through such an experience up until now!

Why is this a commonly occurring phobia in the human psychology? Here are some tips to help.

My highlight yesterday was getting to handle the live exhibit at our station (a small Royal Python aka, a Ball Python) while returning it to its enclosure. It was such a magnificent (non-venomous) creature that for a brief moment, I felt the selfish fascination that drives some people to go to great lengths to acquire them as pets and why the illegal pet trade still thrives. It was very pretty, soft and I was so mesmerised by how it glided so effortlessly along my hand! Part of me kept thinking please let me take it home for a day, I promise I will look after it well, but the sensible part of me reminded that the initial desire of owning one wears off and they belong in the wild in their natural habitats and not in our homes (in less-than-ideal conditions) for our entertainment.

Royal Pythons, being small-sized and docile, are sought out pets leading to much efforts by authorities to combat illegal trafficking and trade of these animals

Live animals are a great conversation starter with visitors. It is very easy to capture their attention as they are naturally curious and use it as an opportunity to educate them. They like to hear things they didn't already know about the animals. Here's an example; Why is a Royal Python also called a Ball Python? Answer: No, it's not the skin patterns, it's because they curl into a tight ball when threatened and hide the head safely inside, so that a predator finds it too big to be eaten. Yesterday, I met twin girls of about five years of age, who were highly fascinated by a stuffed crocodile specimen. They asked me, with the most serious attitude on their faces, "Does this crocodile have a brother crocodile and a sister crocodile?". For a moment there, I stumbled to think of a satisfactory answer. Trying not to laugh, I had to tell them, "Yes, he does". The experiences gained during visitor interactions can vary and are anything but predictable.

It's been great looking forward to the training sessions every Sunday. The facts I have been learning about crocodiles, alligators, gharials, snakes, lizards, turtles, tortoises and terrapins each week have been extremely interesting! And to go back each week with new knowledge of these animals and observe them for real is like seeing them through a new layer of understanding and respect. The more I learn, the more intrigued I am by the evolutionary connections they share with other species. Crocs are the closest living cousins to dinosaurs and they have not changed much in structure for over 200 million years (no need to, they are perfect as they are!). To think they are extensively killed for their hides to make handbags, shoes and the like is depressing (why aren't we humans born with naturalistic intelligence by default?). It's even baffling to learn that crocs are more closely related to birds than lizards, and how their four-chambered hearts are structurally similar to those of birds and mammals. Python skeletons have small vestigial limbs (showing that at one time in history, their ancestors walked and eventually found no use for it!). Then, some lizards have no limbs (they lost the use of them over time). Cool stuff.

Crocodilians - the ultimate mean machines of the wild, but not so appreciated for the crucial roles they play in nature as sanitation squads and in keeping prey populations under control

Ahhh, there are SO MANY interesting facts to learn and share about reptiles! I can't wait to start...