Dragons and Adopted Families

Last week was a very socially active one with farewells and celebratory treats and get-togethers. I even squeezed in How to Train Your Dragon 2, but more on that later. Normally, I would shy away from the thought of social gatherings because they are physically (and sometimes mentally) draining, but at my age I have become bold enough to say "No" to gatherings I really do not like and only accept invitations to ones I like. I consider the gatherings with people I like to be worth the after-effects of socialising which include lacking sleep, energy and focus the next day.

Starting with home cooked Sri Lankan food last Sunday, my insides also went on a gastronomic tour around the world experiencing Vietnamese, Chinese, Indian, Italian, Thai and Moroccan cuisine one day after another. I have new-found admiration for Vietnamese food after discovering their vegetarian options. After last week's over-indulgence, I am determined to eat nuts, berries and tree bark for the rest of the month.

Last Thursday, I was late to work (socializing from the night before) and had to work late to finish the backlog. Earlier, when I had checked the times for the MUCH anticipated dragon movie, there was only one cinema quite far away from my place that was showing a 3D version of the movie so I gave up on the idea of watching it on release day because for me it was either 3D or no movie at all. But in a twist of fate around 7:00pm, another colleague who worked late offered a lift to the very same city showing the 3D movie. I jumped on the offer and caught the 9:30pm movie on my own and got home a few minutes after midnight!

Waiting at the bus stop to catch a bus home around 11:30pm when most of the people were safety tucked in their beds. Thankfully, a female can travel alone at that time of the day in Singapore and not worry much about it. 

I suspect I'm too biased about the movie franchise to give an objective review (after all, I waited only FOUR long years for the second movie), but I LOVED EVERY BIT OF IT!!! I was grinning and laughing for most of it and was left desperately wanting to have a dragon-friend like Toothless. Ahh IF only...

~ ~ ~ 

Lunch hour with my three colleagues at work is the highlight of my work day. It sort of reminds me of the social circles I had in Dubai which I miss very much. Sometimes, a mix of different people from different corners of the globe come together so randomly and a perfect recipe is born and like good wine, it ripens with time. Even the colleague who I used as the prime example of extroverts in my research study has grown on me and I've come to realise she's a gem in a sea of ordinary humans. Maybe it's knowing that as projects come and go, this little group will cease to exist in a few months but for now, everyone in it is happy to give and take. 

In this group of four, there's the extroverted story-telling mother goose who's very loving, clever and funny. Then there's the caring, religious, health-conscious elder sister who baffles us with her mysterious mood swings. Also there's the wise, smart, thoughtful workoholic younger brother who's a bit of a mischievous bully sometimes and there's me - the somewhat quiet observer who enjoys watching the group dynamics with much amusement. Sure, we all have our imperfections but we seemed to have been able to leave them behind with all the other differences and meet at a place that we are all happy and comfortable.

What everyone in this group has in common are humble beginnings and a deep attachment to their families, perhaps more so than the average person I'd meet in Singapore. Coming from remote towns and villages in Third World countries, growing up with little, having to take care of their families, putting up with inconveniences and working extra hard at times in life are some of the things that's shaped everyone in this gang in one way or another. And because of this, being in much better circumstances in life now has not changed the 'generous and grounded factor' that lies in all of them. Being in their company, I am constantly reminded to be humble, positive and less selfish. For this, I've come to admire them very much. 

The topics we share at lunch are mostly the reflective and enriching types - travel, family, food, jokes, movies, psychology, history, economics, politics, science - and not the superficial types about other people's personal lives that would easily drive me to boredom. The more life stories I hear from these interesting people, the more pieces I get to weave a bigger mental fabric about each of individuals. I think the study of people and why they act the way they do fascinates me.

In more food news, I finally discovered the Sri Lankan food stall situated at Tekka Market in Little India. The food there was pretty decent and it was good to get a familiar taste of home. 

Raja Bojun (loosely translated as "food fit for Royalty") at Little India

To believe or Not to believe

"What you believe is not the problem. 

What you believe I should believe is the problem."

The other day after the end of a grueling exam for auditors, Shu happily jumped in a bus to get to the interchange to catch another bus heading to Malaysia. In Asia, under normal circumstances, hardly anyone makes conversations with another stranger. It's not that they mean ill, but people on this side of the continent tend to be cautious and being cautious. Of course it's a gross generalisation. If anyone else makes the first attempt at socialising, a lot of these folks will be more happy to open up and become chatty.

As I sat in the bus, I spoke to my both my parents over the phone and whined about how hard the exam was (both in English and Sinhalese). After I hung up, the girl next to me initiated a conversation which went something like this:

Girl: Are you from the Philippines?
Shu: [a bit surprised given that Shu looks nothing like the fair people of Philippines] Um no. I'm from Sri Lanka.
Girl: You speak good English and that other language you spoke sounds like Tagalog. What is that language?
Shu: [beginning to get a bit suspicious] It's called Sinhalese. Are you from Singapore?
Girl: No, I'm from Malaysia.

In the minutes that passed, more information was shared. Then the conversation took a different turn.

Girl: Have you read this religious text before?
Shu: Um... bit and pieces.
Girl: Do you find the English in it hard to understand?
Shu: No.

As with credit card promoters and other persistent salesmen, at this point I would get a bit uncomfortable and try to move away from the situation or worse, get angry if they persist. But on this day, after many days of studying and learning that auditors must always be open minded diplomatic, perceptive, etc, I didn't have the urge to react (it is quite possible I was too drained from the exam). We chatted a bit on what we did and where we lived (unknown to her, I made every effort to steer the conversation from religion to more general topics) and she ended up being helpful in telling me how to get to the bus interchange which was a new area for me!

I've learnt that where I can't change them to think like me, I simply have to change the way I accept their advances:

1. People have various causes, beliefs and opinions, often different to mine. It doesn't matter if these views (in my standards) are good or bad or inbetween - people identify strongly with what drives them internally/ spiritually/ emotionally. Take me and being vegetarian, for example.

2. They may even attempt to convince me to adopt the same views while thinking they are doing the right thing or what's good for me. I think it's okay for people to approach someone to find out if they are interested - how else will there be sales or perpetuation of beliefs and causes? E.g. Have you heard of the benefits of being vegetarian? What's not okay is to keep persisting when the other person is clearly not interested in buying. E.g. You know, you are probably going to die of a horrible illness if you don't seriously consider turning vegetarian.

3. There's no point getting angry and emotional when someone expresses an opinion different to mine. Let them say what they want to say and whether I accept what they say ultimately lies in my control. Also, it lies in my advantage to be calm and emotionally unaffected. Sure, some of them make it their life's mission to change you and need to be dealt with differently E.g. Why won't you have meat? Here, just try this little piece I put on your plate. C'mon, you'll like it. But many others are sensible enough to realise when to stop pursuing it. And you'll probably meet a few who are respectful of your beliefs and never try to challenge it with theirs.

Then it was time to part our ways.

Girl: Do you have a pen so I can write down my email address for you to write to me if you have any questions about my religion?
Shu: Sorry, No.

The little things that matter

In the past few weeks, I've lost my inner voice, I've lost the joy in doing most of the things I usually enjoy doing, I've not been the best kind of friend or family member I could be, I haven't been the diligent employee I could be, I've failed as this year's leader of the zoo volunteer group, I've failed as an aspiring speaker, I've been losing bits of my self worth and I've been reduced to thinking that it' okay to trade it off for overpriced items. 

But,  no phase - good or bad - lasts forever. Today feels like a day that I managed to scramble out of a soup bowl of emotional turmoil. As I sit here on the brim of this bowl, I can see a little further than what I was seeing in the gloomy weeks that passed. I'm going to enjoy the view while the skies are clear and what better way to do it than with a blog post!

One of my childhood friends shared this photo today and reminded me that she missed the good old days of our rather extraordinary childhood. It warmed me very much. 

Sometimes we become too occupied with ourselves and others that the little things that really matter pass under our noses for granted.

Last weekend I visited a dear friend of mine in Malaysia who used to work with me in Dubai. She drove out alone to pick me from an abandoned bus stop at 1:30am in the morning and gave the best hospitality I can imagine. Today my mother out of her own accord took the pains to walk around in town and find me a beautiful traditional dress for an upcoming cultural event. And as I stayed late at work today, I was touched by the caring gestures of my group of hang-out colleagues who I've grown quite fond of. Not only that, today I had a lovely postcard from Katy Kat all the way from Tokyo!!

On a separate note, my mother has discovered the joys of making very affordable international calls with Viber so I get to hear from her more often! It's good to see them getting tech-savvy.

In other news, I caught the movie Maleficient. It reminded me of the book on Sleeping Beauty I used to own and glance through a lot in my younger days. I liked the fact that they portrayed Maleficient as an ordinary human being capable of both good and bad. No one is entirely bad or entirely good and the boundaries that angels and demons within us share are often blurred by the circumstances that life throws at us.

Signing out from the soup bowl,
Shu

PS: If I ever compare you to the likes of an animal, don't take offense because it really is a compliment coming from me.

Musings of May

On Vesak day, I managed to participate in the temple celebrations of Singapore because unlike last year, I was not home for this occasion. This being a temple managed mostly by Sri Lankan monks and visited frequently by the expat community of Sri Lanka, it felt nice to be in a familiar cultural setting. Of course, part of the expectation of going there was to get a meal that reminded me of home! 

Vesak lanterns 

Traditional drummers of Sri Lanka

The residents of Singapore received a pack of free face masks by post. Out of lessons learnt in the past, the country is well-stocked for another haze episode.

The other day, I went shopping and after returning from my trip, I realised that one of the t-shirts purchased still had its security tag on. These are the ones that makes the detectors beep if anyone tried to shoplift! Unfortunately nothing beeped when I walked out so I didn't see it till I got home. There was no way I was going to waste two hours to get it removed at the mall!

I don't recommend stealing, but I can confirm that the wikiHow entry on "How to remove a security tag from clothing" works! It wasn't easy but the rubber band method eventually worked.

A shoplifters guide to removing security tags

On my way to the duty station yesterday, I met a couple of Cotton topped tamarins. The mother tamarin was teaching her 2-month old to climb branches and the little one was screaming its head off when felt left behind. These primates are critically endangered with about 6000 left in the wild.

 The baby tamarin

The mum

The young aldabra tortoises were enjoying a meal of fresh vegetables

A lazy Sunday

Life has a tendency to sort things out. Take Ginger for example, she's not depressed any more and continues to make the best of both worlds (with dinner at ours!). Also, now that we've managed to renew our housing contract for another year, she will have many more free meals.

Ginger enjoying the bliss of the couch when Shu's housemates are not around!

Recently, I came across the Singapore Police Android app while checking to see if the National Library Board has an app to allow me to search their books catalogue easily. Unfortunately, the Library board has not got around to making a reliable phone app yet, but I did install the Singapore Police app out of curiosity! It has pretty useful information like station locations with contact numbers, latest crime alerts, missing persons profiles and even appeals asking for eye witnesses.

The home menu

 

From the left: Crime statistics in my (apparently very safe) neighbourhood and Police Station details

From the left: Latest crime alerts and appeals for eye witnesses.

Goodness, how did my Sunday pass so fast?!

GPS recalibrating...

Hello.

Today, I feel like a stranger on my own blog! It's been awhile since I've been able to get in touch with my inner self and have a good enough conversation to document here. Without this hobby, my life feels like it's missing a tiny but essential piece, which is why I decided to come here today in an attempt to revive this creative outlet which has helped me in the past to find myself.

As life flows by in an automated routine, I'm beginning to feel like I'm losing my bearings and the sense of purpose. What were my beginnings? Where was it that I was supposed to go? What was it that I enjoyed doing? With whom did I like to hang out?

Right.

I have the all the maps, plans and lists. But is this what I want to do? Really, would it be worth the trouble?Why can't I keep doing what I'm doing now? Is my zeal clouded by weariness?

Where am I?

~ ~ ~

The Toastmasters meetings held every fortnight have developed into somewhat of an interest. I actually look forward to it. I still am failing badly at addressing the public with vocal expression and thinking on my feet when put on the spot. I assume that the skill of public speaking is going to be one of those long distance marathons I have to run in life when I'm no athlete. But besides that, listening to the speeches and different points of view of other members have been slowly expanding my tiny universe. Most often, topics are varied, contains human emotion and are well thought out, making them good brain food. It's also a refreshing change to see depth to a human character during the brief moments that they make themselves vulnerable and exposed in a speech.

The people at the Toastmasters meetings who were strangers and made me feel anxious three months ago are mostly my friends now and I no longer feel threatened by them. I actually feel it's okay to fail in a speech in front of their eyes.

Shu survives the first speech. Now there's nine more to go!

The Tourist

Having caught two episodes of Cosmos just before bed and learning that Edmund Halley and Isaac Newton had an interesting history together, I woke up this Sunday morning with a thirst for an adventure! If not for Halley's encouragement, Newton may not have published his work on Gravity and history as we now have it would have taken a very different route! Anyway, Halley's comet passes Earth's orbit again in July 2061 when I'll be in my late 70's. If I'm alive and with passable eyesight and consciousness, maybe I'll catch it.

I decided to be a tourist today and visit the world's largest oceanarium - the S.E.A Aquarium at Resorts World Sentosa. Although the park opened about two years ago and I even had the privilege to interview for a position of Marine Mammal Specialist there, I was yet to explore it! I was overwhelmed with the sights of marine life in the enormous tanks. The park made it possible for visitors to see the enchanting beauty of worlds underwater, just like a scuba diver would. I sincerely hope that a good proportion of visitors leave with an idea of what it is that we are slowly destroying with our collective demands on the planet and be a little more environmentally conscious. 

Sri Lanka's Port of Galle was a key location on the Silk Route as displayed in the Maritime Museum...

..where exports included precious gems and pearls, resin, wood, spices, beeswax, coconuts, turmeric, sesame and even corals and Hawksbill turtles.

The journey begins!

Unbelievably graceful, delicate and evolved to resemble seaweed - the Leafy sea dragons

Jellyfish are made of about 95% water! 

Coral reefs teeming with life

No, there were no blue whales at the park, but this poster made me wonder how fortunate we are to live in the time of the largest animal to have EVER lived on Earth! 

After making a quick detour to the Universal Studios Singapore (it pays to have a 6-month unlimited pass since I play the the role of tour guide quite often) to go on the Transformers and the Mummy rides and watch a few shows I hadn't before, I headed home to catch the T20 Cricket World Cup final between India and Sri Lanka.