Just spammin'

Just when I thought spamming could not get any better than viagra, enhancement pills and "Dearly beloved" emails from Nigeria, I got this:

Kuala Lumpur Malaysia.

Dear Shu <Shu's family name>,

My name is Miss Cotton Brain, a legal practitioner with XYZ LLP in <insert bogus address>, Kuala Lumpur Malaysia.

I saw your contact and profile and decided that you could cooperate with me in this proposition.

I have a client by Name Mr. Katab <Shu's family name>, who was deceased in November, 2009, in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. I am contacting you because you have the same surname as my deceased client and I felt that you could help me in the distribution of funding that were left in my deceased client's bank account. This funding is closed to be declared un-serviceable by the bank as there were no indicated next of kin or next of beneficiary of the funding in the bank account.

The total amount of cash in the bank account of my deceased client is US$ 12.5 Million (Say, Twelve Million, Five Hundred Thousand United States dollars Only) The bank had issued to me a notification to contact the next of kin of my deceased client for either to re-activate the bank account or to make claim of beneficiary, of the funding in the bank account, with a month surcharge of 6% to be deducted as an Escrow safe keeping fee of the bank account, so as to avoid the indefinite closure of the bank account. My proposition to you is to seek your consent, and to present your kind self as the next-of-kin and beneficiary of my deceased client, since you have the same last name with him.

This means that the proceeds of his bank account would be paid to you as his next of kin or the legitimate beneficiary. When the proceeds in his bank account are paid to you, we would share the proceeds on a mutually agreed-upon percentage of 55% to me and 45% to your kind self. All the legal documents to back up your claim as my client's next-of-kin would be provided by the court. The most important thing I would need is your honest co-operation in this proposition. This would be done under a legitimate arrangement that would protect you from any breach of the law.

If this business proposition offends your moral and ethical values, feel free to back out. Please contact me at once if you are interested, reply through my Personal email (barristercottonbrain@spandex.com)

Regards,

Bar. Cotton Brain
Advocate/Solicitor.

Disclaimer: Names and addresses have been changed.


Shu's response:

Dear Barrister Cotton Brain,

Regards,
Shu <Shu's family name>


WHO THE HELL FALLS FOR THIS SHIT??