"Window shopping" and "shopping for fun" with ladies are two of the most unproductive tasks I find hard to deal with. For starters, most of them do not need anything, are not willing to spend much or do not have in mind what it is they want to buy. So they go on touching and feeling clothes, shoes and accessories on display, shop after shop, UNTIL.... an item strikes an emotional connection with their sub-conscious mind. A few are able to rationalise and take into consideration their actual requirements and budget, but others, well, can't, and they keep looking. Another problem I face is being asked for feedback on how they look with the item - this is tricky to differentiate from their need for reassurance. Depending on the intensity of their emotional connection with the item, most shoppers are already decided on whether they will go the lengths to acquire it or not. So at times, external feedback doesn't matter.
Looks are subjective too - what might appeal to them, may not appeal to someone else in the same way and vice versa. Then, I have a tendency to consider many factors - looks, cost, quality, practicality and feelings of the person - before delivering my opinion in the most delicate way possible. Unless something is very obviously over-priced and of bad quality, I don't usually dissuade them from getting to their "means of joy". So more often than not, my friends and family find my sugar-coated feedback absolutely useless in helping them decide anything. This time consuming and emotionally draining experience does not end there. Sometimes, after much time, thought and energy was spent on picking an item (and with no surprises), they decide at the paying counter that they don't need it. With years of experiencing similar situations, I have come to accept that it is a common female nature, which even I am guilty of only very, very, very occasionally. With my guest, there was the added factor of currency conversion rates. Coming from a country where the cost of living and income per person is far less than in Singapore, she (we) struggled to manage her desires and budget. Thankfully for Shuri, it was only a quarter day of shopping.
On the topic of giving feedback, I recall another incident where I sent a friend of mine a photo of hers taken from my camera. I had no strong opinions towards the picture, except that I thought it was a good one capturing a few colourful birds in the background. She replied saying "I look like a fat lump". I could not fathom if she made a final statement or it was one of those tricky ones where she was expecting a reply. I felt part of my brain short-circuit and fry out with a spark, for lack of a good response to hers. A few lines came to mind (with no malice on my part), but nothing felt entirely presentable or sensitive enough.
"Oh, it never occurred to me. But now that you mentioned it, you are right."
"Yes. Cameras take pretty accurate pictures of what IS."
"Well, you are on the heavier side and you wear baggy clothes so that's what you really look like from an external point of view."
"If it bothers you that much, consider doing something to lose a little weight."
"Your appearance does not affect our friendship dynamics in any way, in case you wondered."
"Nah." (this would have been a lie)
In the end, I kept quiet. I am glad she didn't ask "Do I look like a fat lump?", in which case I would have been obliged to reply. Moral of the story is people are far more engrossed about their own looks to bother much about how others look in photos and in real life. So the next time I feel overly obsessed with my looks in a photo, I'll remind myself that's it's just me over-thinking it. [Afternote: this phenomenon where people overestimate how much attention other people are paying to them is called the Spotlight Effect].
Back to the National Day, the fireworks display was absolutely worth the trouble we went through to get to the place. Getting there was no easy feat, we had to fight through hoards of people, find alternative routes after being turned back several times due to road closures and I had surpassed my physical endurance limit for the day.
The fireworks display overlooking Marina Bay lasted about twenty minutes and it was such a treat to the senses (the smell of gunpowder included)!
With passing time, part of me feels that something exciting every now and then is essential for my continued mental well-being and another part of me feels a little guilty about spending on entertainment during this phase of life. But for this month's endorphin dose, I purchased a Groupon voucher for four Zumba classes with my dance partner, Katy Kat. The class was extremely fun, fast-paced and strenuous. There were so many dance moves from various styles (predominantly Latin-inspired) going on and we were just supposed to keep up. The tracks played were perfect in my mind. It was like hitting a club with good music - only better, without the cigarette smoke, poor lighting, pressure to socialise, having to ward off unwelcome males in heat and the overall drunked-ness. Not knowing the dance moves wasn't a concern. Even social anxiety wasn't a concern (woot!). They also had showering facilities for no additional cost, so we went home feeling like jasmines instead of rafflesias.
Who knew a threesome of dance, music and serious exercise can be this fun! As seen in the video below, there are plenty of lost sheep in any class, but NO ONE CARES.
No comments:
Post a Comment