Shuri suffers from a chronic case of mental diarrhea and is often plagued by a hyperactive imagination that does not show in her ordinary conversations with others. This blog is what her (imaginary) therapist recommended so that she won't explode with a build up of overwhelming thoughts.
Boss: Shuri, you seem awfully quiet today. Is everything alright?
Me: Yes. *sulks*
What I *should* have said was:
Me: NO. I woke up this morning with a smile on my face thinking it's Thursday and lived most of my morning floating in a blissful bubble until someone just told me it was Wednesday.
Several months ago, in the spirit of trying out new things, I signed up for a marathon with one of my (fitness conscious) housemates. This was during the time the new year started when all you hear and read about are "making new year resolutions". I would have happily put off "Attempt a marathon" on my list for a few more years if not for the contents of the goodie bag that was promised to all participants of this night marathon. Energiser, the main sponsor, was giving away head lamps! I dislike running and I don't normally run unless I am chased by something ferocious, but I thought it will be cool to own a lamp I can fix on my head. Maybe I can read in the dark, I thought, or wear it going downstairs in the dark so that creepy characters from horror movies don't jump at me or go on night trails or observe night animals (at the time, the possibilities seemed endless). But now, I'm feeling a hint of regret as the day of the 6 km marathon is fast approaching.
Not all marathons are bad. Like these days, I'm on a Big Bang Theory Season 5 marathon, which I'm enjoying very much.
Funny how that TV series popped into my head. I was wishing I had the power to levitate things with telepathy - 'cos if I did, I would be enjoying a bag of chips right now (Grrrr). I spent a good deal of time back in the 90's pretending to be Alana (the main character) while I was following the series, wearing a head band (that had no powers whatsoever) and branding myself with three black dots on the side of my forehead.
I woke up early this morning to go on a hike to Bukit Timah Hill with Sarah, my outdoors-loving-buddy. We hiked to the summit of the tallest hill in Singapore in less than an hour and agreed that it felt rather anti-climatic. After resting at the shelter until a mild shower of rain passed us, we hiked back down and started all over again. The second trip proved to be more interesting than the first. We tried an alternative route that was not too popular with the other hikers to discover it led to a dead end. However, beyond the boundary markers was a steep drop into an abandoned quarry which was now a deep bluish mini-lake. We also spotted a good number of ants, butterflies, birds, squirrels and monkeys on the way back.
I spotted a freakishly huge specimen of a Giant Forest Ant (Camponotus gigas) with killer pinchers (my giant feet have been captured here for a size comparison)
We compensated for the massive loss of calories earlier in the day by stuffing ourselves with naan and two paneer dishes, until all we could think of was falling horizontal and falling asleep. The serving staff came to serve us with four plates, judging by how much we ordered. Even the two of us being somewhat big eaters could not finish all the food. An interesting concept I discovered in Singapore (considered faux pas back home, when I left the place) was that in restaurants, people can opt to pack their leftovers. It follows logic that ones pays for the food and is therefore entitled to all of it regardless of it being a dine-in or a take-away. So that's what we did, and I didn't have to worry about dinner that day!
~ ~ ~
Not many years ago, I had a rather ill-informed view on gaming and gamers in general. I associated them with words like "addictive", "childish", "anti-social", "violent", "unstable", "irresponsible" and "unproductive". But with exposure to a few different types of games, getting to know a few gamers personally, countless debates (most of which I lost!) and under the patient mentorship of Ryuu, I've had to tweak my previously held opinions on the topic.
While I maintain that most violent games out there are unfitting for impressionable young minds, I have discovered that to generalise all games is terribly unfair. Games come in various forms; they can bring much enjoyment to the senses and most require a considerable amount of brainwork and skill. Game graphics keep improving with time and the X-box Kinect has taken entertainment to a whole new level with its motion-sensing features (very exciting indeed). I don't see myself turning out to be a hardcore gamer, however, I can see myself picking up and enjoying the occasional game (not something I would have envisioned for myself five years ago).
Flower is a delightful game I am trying out these days. So far, it's basically running wild in a huge green grassy field picking colourful (musical) flowers that add on to a growing tail of petals that trail along - and I'm the Wind! It's so Zen-like, I love it.
My boss is back after five weeks on holiday and I am much more productive at work (with him sitting behind me, facing my computer screen). The office is also more fun these days listening to his wise sayings, funny stories and the creative swear words flying about within the "all-male-except-one" team. It really does take all kinds of people to make the world more interesting.
Four months later, it vaguely feels like the team has grown to accept my ways just as I have gotten more comfortable around them.
Singapore celebrated her 47th National Day on 9th August. Normally, I would have stayed indoors to avoid masses of people outdoors on a public holiday, but I had a guest in town. I agreed to meet up with her for some shopping, dining and watching the fireworks display. It was a bonus to spot a party photo booth next to Ion Orchard, where we stood in line with many other tourists to get free photos after given a selection of funky props to pose with! It was the perfect souvenir for her to take back.
"Window shopping" and "shopping for fun" with ladies are two of the most unproductive tasks I find hard to deal with. For starters, most of them do not need anything, are not willing to spend much or do not have in mind what it is they want to buy. So they go on touching and feeling clothes, shoes and accessories on display, shop after shop, UNTIL.... an item strikes an emotional connection with their sub-conscious mind. A few are able to rationalise and take into consideration their actual requirements and budget, but others, well, can't, and they keep looking. Another problem I face is being asked for feedback on how they look with the item - this is tricky to differentiate from their need for reassurance. Depending on the intensity of their emotional connection with the item, most shoppers are already decided on whether they will go the lengths to acquire it or not. So at times, external feedback doesn't matter.
Looks are subjective too - what might appeal to them, may not appeal to someone else in the same way and vice versa. Then, I have a tendency to consider many factors - looks, cost, quality, practicality and feelings of the person - before delivering my opinion in the most delicate way possible. Unless something is very obviously over-priced and of bad quality, I don't usually dissuade them from getting to their "means of joy". So more often than not, my friends and family find my sugar-coated feedback absolutely useless in helping them decide anything. This time consuming and emotionally draining experience does not end there. Sometimes, after much time, thought and energy was spent on picking an item (and with no surprises), they decide at the paying counter that they don't need it. With years of experiencing similar situations, I have come to accept that it is a common female nature, which even I am guilty of only very, very, very occasionally. With my guest, there was the added factor of currency conversion rates. Coming from a country where the cost of living and income per person is far less than in Singapore, she (we) struggled to manage her desires and budget. Thankfully for Shuri, it was only a quarter day of shopping.
On the topic of giving feedback, I recall another incident where I sent a friend of mine a photo of hers taken from my camera. I had no strong opinions towards the picture, except that I thought it was a good one capturing a few colourful birds in the background. She replied saying "I look like a fat lump". I could not fathom if she made a final statement or it was one of those tricky ones where she was expecting a reply. I felt part of my brain short-circuit and fry out with a spark, for lack of a good response to hers. A few lines came to mind (with no malice on my part), but nothing felt entirely presentable or sensitive enough.
"Oh, it never occurred to me. But now that you mentioned it, you are right." "Yes. Cameras take pretty accurate pictures of what IS." "Well, you are on the heavier side and you wear baggy clothes so that's what you really look like from an external point of view." "If it bothers you that much, consider doing something to lose a little weight." "Your appearance does not affect our friendship dynamics in any way, in case you wondered." "Nah." (this would have been a lie)
In the end, I kept quiet. I am glad she didn't ask "Do I look like a fat lump?", in which case I would have been obliged to reply. Moral of the story is people are far more engrossed about their own looks to bother much about how others look in photos and in real life. So the next time I feel overly obsessed with my looks in a photo, I'll remind myself that's it's just me over-thinking it. [Afternote: this phenomenon where people overestimate how much attention other people are paying to them is called the Spotlight Effect].
Back to the National Day, the fireworks display was absolutely worth the trouble we went through to get to the place. Getting there was no easy feat, we had to fight through hoards of people, find alternative routes after being turned back several times due to road closures and I had surpassed my physical endurance limit for the day.
The fireworks display overlooking Marina Bay lasted about twenty minutes and it was such a treat to the senses (the smell of gunpowder included)!
With passing time, part of me feels that something exciting every now and then is essential for my continued mental well-being and another part of me feels a little guilty about spending on entertainment during this phase of life. But for this month's endorphin dose, I purchased a Groupon voucher for four Zumba classes with my dance partner, Katy Kat. The class was extremely fun, fast-paced and strenuous. There were so many dance moves from various styles (predominantly Latin-inspired) going on and we were just supposed to keep up. The tracks played were perfect in my mind. It was like hitting a club with good music - only better, without the cigarette smoke, poor lighting, pressure to socialise, having to ward off unwelcome males in heat and the overall drunked-ness. Not knowing the dance moves wasn't a concern. Even social anxiety wasn't a concern (woot!). They also had showering facilities for no additional cost, so we went home feeling like jasmines instead of rafflesias.
Who knew a threesome of dance, music and serious exercise can be this fun! As seen in the video below, there are plenty of lost sheep in any class, but NO ONE CARES.
I blog while I try to resist the urge to throw up some cheese macaroni I had. But let's rewind for a bit.
The day turned out okay. I managed to do a 15-minute workout in the gym this morning and burn 41 calories (no kidding! Anyway, calories are overated nowadays). It helps now that I have a sophisticated mp3 player. Usually I'd take my phone upstairs and use it like a player during workouts. But complicated as it was, it involved touching my phone too often with sweaty hands and probably depositing on it tonnes of germs left behind by other users of the gym machines. So now, it helps that the mp3 player plays on it's own, with minimal touching. I do have to sort the playlists though as it is a messy goo of songs now. Now, Mozart plays next to Adam Lambert plays next to Amaradeva (an old classical singer in my country that few people my age listen to!) plays next to Kill Switch plays next to Nicky Minaj.
The macaroni! So yeah, I had a huge craving for cheese macaroni and went on to make a pack of San Remo quick cooking macaroni. It said 3 servings, but really that's worse than a cheap marketing trick! It is seriously only one generous serving. Maybe I put in too much milk or it got cold too fast, I lost the enthusiasm after eating 3/4ths of it. Aaand that's how the first line of this blog came about.
I'm hooked on Mentalist , a TV series I scavenged from a generous pile of DVDs given away by a kind soul in office. Actually I snatched all of season 1 AND 2 as I was one of the first few lucky people (flies) to come across this pile of freebies (dung). Early birds get the juicy worms, they say. I finished season 1 and now I have all of season 2 to go! Got to love the main character, Patrick Jane. He has a knack for observing people and evidence and deducing what most detectives miss out during criminal investigations. It marries two of my favourites together - criminal cases and psychology - into a very entertaining series.
For anyone who's curious, here is a little dose of Patrick Jane!
Happy (would-have-been) 65th Birthday, Freddie Mercury! And Google, I must say, I'm impressed with the "doodles" you come up with.
Gym Timings Open from 9:00am - 9:00pm, Saturday to Thursday* Ladies: 9:00am - 11:00am, 4:00pm - 6:00pm (a total of 4 hours) Men: 11:30am - 3:30pm, 6:30pm - 9:00pm (a total of 6.5 hours)
*The work week here is from Sunday to Thursday. Some unfortunate folk work on Saturday as part of a 6-day work week.
The above timings are the gym access hours in my residential building. At first glance, it can be inferred that this schedule must have been drafted by:
a) a man who thought that it was more important for men to workout than is it for the ladies. So in addition to longer hours, he also gives his "brothers" prime gym timings on all the days. OR,
b) a woman who was jealous of other working women - maybe because she has no access to a gym, or no time to hit the gym or she has little success with her own workouts. OR,
c) a computer program that generates random time sequences.
I work from 9:00am to 6:00pm on weekdays, and by this schedule, I cannot use the gym on a weekday. And if on Saturday morning (my off day) I happen to indulge in a few extra hours of sleep between 9:00am and 11:00am or happen to run some errands between 4:00pm and 6:00pm, then my chances of using the gym are entirely lost. Not that I care, but here I thought some common sense might be used when creating a schedule such as this.
Now I have found ways around this problem. I have spoken to the building keeper to open up the gym for me at 7:00am, when he does his cleaning rounds. Somedays when he happens to clean the gym at 7:00am, it is not available. But on the days I motivate myself to go one flight of stairs to the gym, which is about 4 days on a good month, I manage a 15-minute workout on one of the running machines and burn 98 calories a day. That is until my nemesis comes for his workout at 7:30am. This annoying man, refusing to use the good hours allocated to his gender by the building management, prefers to encroach on my time. One day I found him sitting on a muscle building machine and chattering away on the phone. USE THE CORRIDOR DAMMIT. DONT HOG THE GYM IF YOU AREN'T USING IT.
Public Library Timings 8:00am - 9:00pm on weekdays Closed on weekends.
I'll start of by saying, I am glad I can used the library on weekdays from 7:30pm to 8:40pm after work.
But what kind of library is closed on weekends? Isn't that when people (mostly working adults and school children) have the time to come and use library facilities? It seems the public library caters mostly to telecommuters, housewives/ househusbands, the unemployed, some school children, some university students and some people who work irregular shifts.
Today I find out that due to the month of fasting, libraries close at 5:30pm on weekdays. All flickering hopes of studying for an impending GRE exam have vanished. I am doomed.
It's been a lovely first day of the weekend. No irritating mood swings. Slept well and woke up fresh without an alarm having to wake me up. Missed my class by waking up too late. Went to the gym upstairs for a 20 minute workout (yeah, that's about all I can manage yet without feeling dizzy!). Felt so proud of the little (adorable) bulge in my arms that I have developed from climbing walls and doing the occasional wall push-ups. Spent some time with the sister and nephew, this time actually listening to them and interacting willingly. She seemed happy to have someone listen to her thoughts. Don't we all need that sometimes! Did the laundry. Had a nice shower and sat down to enjoy a nice home-cooked lunch! Feels like I am suspended in a vaccum, with no strong forces to tip me off balance. I'm going to make the most of this, while it lasts!
I like watching Oprah's & Ellen's talk shows. Unfortunately, I don't have the means to watch them on a regular basis and so I watch clips on Youtube. Ellen's very funny, cheerful and the genuinely kind type, always a pleasure to watch. Oprah's show is very interesting, there's always something to take away from it, an alternative thinking process even or something that humbly brings you down to base. Sometimes the phrase "I love Oprah", is usually followed by raised eyebrows, similar to the expression you might get when you are at a book store looking through the self-help book section. Nothing wrong with watching inspirational shows or buying self-help books, we all look for explanations from time to time.
I would have liked to blog on more serious and thought provoking topics in this new blog. My blogs lately have been very superficial and not always written with much enthusiasm. But a blog is like a snapshot in time of the thought processes; embarassing, mundane or substance-less some of them may be, it shows a state of mind that existed and one which is undoubtedly my own.
On a separate note, WHY are Brussels sprouts so unpopular? I love them (steamed)!
Justin Timberlake - sexy, arrogant, neat dancer, show-off and makes moving music:
Disclaimer: The video is scandalous but but gotta admit this song played at ear shattering volumes while driving is quite thrilling.
What used to be just physical labour or an active lifestyle back in the day, now consists of paying exhorbitant prices for gym memberships to run in one place or cycle in one place. Or it could come in other expensive activity forms like acting out martial arts positions, dancing away to pumping music like your are high on nitrous oxide, playing with giant inflatable balls, exploiting traditional yoga techniques and the like.
On one side, there are the young men who idolise fictional creatures like the Hulk and slave way to attain abnormal muscle to body ratios, thinking they must look irresistable wearing under-sized t-shirts that accentuate bulging muscles and the man boobs. Talk about the pure determination one can garner from peer pressure or social standards for acceptance! They are equally matched by young women who like to live in borderline poverty standards, scrimping on salads and soups and eating scraps of dry bread for lunch, shunning away painfully from good things in life like chocolates and ice cream while popping diet/ slimming pills. There is nothing wrong with looking/ feeling good and taking moderate measures, but therein lies a problem when it is overdone.
They do this for various reasons; to look attractive and stand out, to attract good-looking mates, to fit into desirable clothes sizes, to be socially accepted, to be healthy, etc.
Forget them.
I have a gym in my building, one floor up. It is almost as if I had a gym in my own home, going by the convenient distance and the free service. It's been 2 months since they opened it up, but I've only been there once. One needs considerable determination to undertake an exercise regime. It helps to "see" the prize atop the hill. And this prize needs to be quick to achieve with visible progress. Otherwise, most do not find it motivating enough to work out towards intangible results with post-dated returns things like "good health", "longer lifespan", "better quality of life" or "happiness". For some, negative psychology can work as a powerful motivator; "I am fat and undesirable", "I am paying alot for this exercise session", "I can't fit in that pretty dress for the party next week", "I have to look better than my girl friends" or "I want to go out with a hunk".
My problem lies in that I do not have a powerful motivator to exercise. I am certainly of normal body proportions, in my standards. Any more loss in body mass, and I will look malnourished (again, in my standards). I am young and without chronic ailments. My self esteem with regards to my body image is in the healthy range. I do not obssess over impressing anyone of the opposite sex with super model-sized body parts. Unfortunately (or fortunately), I did not inherit the eye for overly feminine clothes that are generally body size MINUS 40% body fat. Worst of all, I am lazy.
So why would I want to spend my precious time on getting tired, sweating out and handling the aches afterwards when I can, say, comfortably lie in a couch and watch a movie? Yeah, sure, if I did that, I'll have an early and horrible death. So what? We all die anyway, and there is no knowing how and when we would die. The process remains the same, you will leave loved ones behind who have to make the funeral arrangements for you. No, an untimely demise is not enough a motivator for me. I thought long and hard to come up with 2 vaguely motivating factors: getting some kick-ass feminine biceps (perhaps, if I said "toned arms", it would have been more acceptable) and increasing chemicals in the brain that uplifts mood and help manage mood swings (like they claim to do!).
