June ends

The haze situation is stable for now. Ginger was gone for a week and I thought the worst. Then, day before yesterday, I was never happier to see two orange paws sticking out of my neighbour's shoe rack.

Singapore enjoyed non-hazardous air all of last week. The Indonesian government has been taking measures to control the situation, mostly in response to pressure from the international community. Singapore, meanwhile, is busy implementing emergency preparedness measures in schools, hospitals, offices, etc, in case the haze comes back. Often, we lack the drive to take preventative measures (which we perceive as taking up more of our time, effort and costs) and instead focus on tackling immediate problems as and when they arise. Taking shortcuts can cost much more sometimes.

I have a very small but surely growing collection of books. So whenever, I need a book fix and I feel too lazy to hit the library, I end up re-reading my favourite books. It's kind of like how I tend to order the same things at restaurants, despite resolutions to be more adventurous in trying out new things, because I know for a fact that it is going to taste great. So I picked up Quiet again and it's been really hard to let the book down.

The book also got me in trouble TWICE today.

Scene #1: This morning, I honestly missed a text message from my colleague, who was in the next carriage, saying "Good Morning Shu, I just saw you step into the train." because I was wrapped up in the book. And she said she didn't walk over to me to say hello because she saw that I was very engrossed. She is thoughtful like that. Had I seen the message, I would have been forced to go socialise with her instead getting some valuable reading time so I was glad about the way things turned out [Shu, you are going to hell!]. It is possible she thought that I saw her message and chose to ignore it.

Scene#2: Evening time, again in the train after we've (she's) talked a lot and I've listened more, she asked casually what I am reading. I told her it's an interesting Psychology book and pulled out the book to show it to her without much thought and shortly after that, I regretted showing it. It read "Quiet. The Power of Introverts in a World that Can't Stop Talking". I should have been more careful. I hope she didn't feel like it was a metaphorical slap in her face because I thought I saw her blush. I felt terrible. I'd rather she assumed I was a forelorn introvert reading a self-help book to gain self confidence than take it the wrong way.

I try not to over-use labels, but it's impossible not to, in this case. Sure, there are exceptions; introversion and extroversion lie on a spectrum rather than being two fixed states and some people are harder to pick out as they have mastered qualities and skills that don't come naturally to them. But the more I understand the psychology behind this phenomenon and observe social situations, it appears that the majority of introverts and extroverts are as unmistakable as males and females of a particular species.

My colleague is a nice extrovert who is very thoughtful, kind, smart and has a big conscience (but she will stop being nice to me if she found out I was using her as a case study on my blog!). Being happily married to her college sweetheart who she admits is an introvert, she seems to know well how to draw us out of our shell in a pleasant and non-threatening way. The most successful couples I have met are pairings of the opposite type, provided that they each have a good understanding of their partners' strengths and limitations. My parents are such a couple. Though not the most romantic couple on Earth, they do make a good team that can work in synergy. They celebrated their 38th wedding anniversary two days ago, and *gasp*, Shu and her sister forgot to wish them, until they reminded us! We assume they know that we love them very much regardless of temporary flashes of memory impairment.

Here's a timeless tune that's always a hit at weddings:

The Haze-o-calypse

The end of June has plagued Singapore with "The Haze", affecting the air quality of every breathing living thing here. It has caught international attention and put the tiny island of Singapore back on the map. There seems to be a temporary improvement in the quality of air but we are not out of the blue yet even as I write this post. I do hope the situation does not worsen again because I like to have a fighting chance to achieve my future dreams and ambitions, and that too, in good health.

                                                Singapore's experience of the haze of 2013

Last Friday when air pollution levels hit the highest record of 401 PSI (borderline hazardous levels are capped at 300 PSI), it felt like the end of the world was here. There was much panic and fear around, not knowing when or if the levels will go down or continue to rise. While monitoring hourly PSI levels on the internet and smelling smoke everywhere, I kept imagining that we were going to be another statistic like the survivors of Chernobyl. My parents were worried sick and kept asking me to fly back home to Sri Lanka escape the haze of Singapore.

Today is a significant improvement from Friday the 21st of June, when PSI levels hit 401 (screen shot taken from www.nea.gov.sg/psi)

The outdoors are filled with people in face masks. The parks are empty as we have been advised to keep strenuous physical activity outdoors to a minimum. The indoors offer some security but when the situation was at its worst last week, we woke up in houses filled with smoke and worked in offices (without our masks on) where the smell of burning wood still got through the central air conditioning systems. People we hardly knew made small talk of the haze in buses and trains. Some time last week, stores everywhere ran out of face masks. When a store received new stocks of face masks, people queued up and it sold out in minutes like hotcakes. People even rushed to buy air purifiers and there just weren't enough stocks in the stores to fulfill the demand. 

Ordinary paper masks offer no protection from the hazardous particles in the air but it was a few days before the general population got access to special N95 type masks. Plenty of people in vulnerable states like the elderly, children, pregnant mothers and those with existing respiratory problems were using the ordinary face masks until they found effective N95 masks. Business, including in construction sectors, went on as usual and low income construction workers continued to work outside when PSI levels soared past 300.

One type of N95 mask

Indonesia is the largest producer of palm oil - besides countries like Malaysia, Nigeria and Thailand - supplying the global demand for palm oil. Palm oil is an essential ingredient in a lot of things we use and can't do without now. Every year during the dry season, Indonesia (our neighbour) burns a large area of their palm oil plantations, preparing the land for the next round of the oil palm crop. It's far easier and cheaper to set fire and let it burn away the area than clean up debris with hired labour, plus the charred remains make the soil fertile. 

The problem is that these fires are often illegal and uncontrolled, spreading into natural forests, destroying everything in its path. A lot of the time, these regular activities go unnoticed and ignored on an international level because it's just another nagging ear sore caused by scientists or a conservationist group. And many people maintain the attitude "if it doesn't affect me or my loved ones directly, why should I care?". But this year it changed in Singapore. It noticeably affected people past international borders. The government became actively engaged because the haze was adversely affecting the health of its people and the country's economy. 

This image shows the source of the smoke - fires originating in the oil plantations of Sumatra in Indonesia

Either we have an incredible ability to forget and move on with crisis situations or we may have become numb to media coverage and cries on environmental pollution. I can vouch for that because we here in Singapore are going on about life as usual, while taking recommended preventative measures to get past this haze. Maybe we don't want to add up the math of the climate crisis happening in other parts of the world or analyse deeper into what lessons this haze can teach us. After all, the governments of Singapore and Indonesia are taking measures to improve air quality in the area, protect the people and bring culprits of this haze to justice. We don't know yet what diseases and long term effects on health this extended exposure will bring. Perhaps, being resilient creatures of years of evolutionary success, we may not be affected much. But for now, the general attitude is "We feel fine and therefore don't particularly feel motivated to change our lifestyles or become more environmentally friendly".

What about the animals, plants and their habitats that are getting destroyed by the fires? What of the animals that live outdoors and have no protection whatsoever from what they breathe in? No one can afford to care because the truth is, no matter what, it is a game of priorities and survival of the fittest. This incident should really be a wake up call or it will be a wasted lesson on us all. This is a snapshot of the fate that we are bringing upon ourselves and the planet at large with the lifestyles and desires we have acquired over the years. Conscientious people can take small measures to stall the untimely death of the planet, but the real power lies with the governments. We are well past the point where measures like optimistic recycling efforts of a few individuals will reverse the situation (but that doesn't mean we should stop trying!). Only international environmental policies and tough measures to control consumerism taken by proactive governments with good leadership can offer a glimmer of hope.

But otherwise, our future generations are pretty much doomed.

Midway through 2013

It's 33 degrees Celsius in sunny Singapore!

Today I met a whiny cab driver on my way to work early on a Sunday morning. I don't know the nature of his issues, but he was far, far away from things like contentment, gratitude or hope. He grumbled all the way about his general dissatisfaction of external circumstances that he could not change. What we don't realise after we've worked ourselves to such a state of mind, is that we also bring down everyone else around us. It becomes far more easier to complain and wallow in self pity than to kick oneself and take control. I tried, mostly in vain, to give him a bit of perspective, to help him see beyond his convictions to conditions of those who are far worse. It's hard to convince people who think that the grass is greener on the other side, or in his case, that he was living in the worst country in the world.

I wonder if this image would have helped

I stumbled on a terrific website called diagram.ly to draw process flow charts. I went from being a "noob" to an "expert" in half an hour, thanks to its little video tutorial in the help section. It doesn't require any installation, it's very user-friendly and it's free! All it takes is dragging and dropping shapes and arrows, giving some colour, typing the text and saving to a file format of choice. I had a minor heart attack midway into the assignment wondering how I'll edit the flow chart later after I've closed the browser. Thankfully, they had it covered too.

Here's further proof that flow charts of any type now no longer require expert services. It's not the best example for a flow chart, but if I post work files here, I may get fired.

Look at that! My whole life in a simple flow chart.

There and back again

Last month, I went home to see the parents for five days. I contemplated on crossing off an exotic destination from my list of new countries to visit. But then I had a startling reminder that my remaining time with the family, realistically speaking, is limited to x number of moments and that pretty much settled where I wanted to be for my holiday.

I was told there was also going to be a family wedding we'd be attending. Crowds, making conversations and finding a dress! Bother. Thankfully, my helpful elder sister with a sophisticated sense of fashion came to the rescue (what will I ever do without her!). So I was saved the trouble and trauma of hunting for a perfect dress. More on that later.

The long weekend also found me celebrating Vesak with a large population of Buddhists in the country. By "celebrations", I mean doing things like visiting the temples, making Vesak lanterns with my adopted brother, driving in town with family and neighbours to watch creative displays of colourful lanterns and finally, eating from dansal.

Dansal are stalls set up by groups of volunteers offering food and drinks to anyone and everyone passing by (no questions asked) free of charge in the spirit of the occasion. Food ranges from good full course meals to ice cream and the queues can be pretty long for ones famed at having delicious meals. It's not really about fighting the crowds to get a free meal. The idea is for one party to organise, spend, cook and offer food with generous thoughts to others, while the receivers leave behind any pride and in turn enjoy the meal and offer their gratitude and appreciation for the other party's efforts. These days they have to operate on government licenses to ensure that food provided meets health and hygiene standards. Revisiting traditions and the culture back home with the family brought much me joy.

The Dalada Maligawa - an iconic palace turned temple in my hometown that attracts thousands of devotees and tourists every year

A recent addition to the main shrine 

The start of a large project that eventually took us a whole day to complete. My brother had already made the "skeletons" of the lanterns out of bamboo sticks when I arrived home, but there was much cutting and pasting to do!

The lantern slowly takes shape with coloured paper

The largest lantern of the lot. They look their best at night, when the light from inside the lantern radiates through translucent paper.

We had a total of four lanterns. My brother did the hard work of pulling electrical cables over the trees in the garden and fixing the lights and lanterns. I was his helpful aid.

Vesak lanterns can take various shapes, sizes, colours and designs. It takes considerable skill and time to make artistic ones like the one above (a photo which I borrowed from http://vesaksrilanka.blogspot.com/). Ours were of course amateur attempts. 

In addition to being able to show off his new driving license, my brother had a new member in his fleet of vehicles (the other being a bicycle). I also had enough time to look at all the plants my Dad and brother had planted, eat some of the fruits fresh off the trees and visit my favourite river.

A curious looking "three-wheeler". Its ability to squeeze through small spaces makes it an efficient mode of transport during traffic hours in Sri Lanka. We drove to the nearest playground where he gave me a crash course on driving it and I raced to my heart's content (mostly in circles), only having to dodge a few grazing cows and their dung piles.

Kitty - another privileged member of the family

Homegrown bananas and (a little harder to spot) Kitty about to do a death-defying stunt from the roof to the ground

I never miss the 3-minute walk down to the river whenever I visit home. This is where I spent a good deal of time growing up. It may explain my hydrophilic tendencies.

Reminiscing the past...

The wedding turned out a lot better than I imagined. I could tell my parents were filled with warm, parental pride to have atleast one of their offspring present at this social event. I believe they miss us very much. Social awkwardness aside, seeing them happy made me happy. It was actually fun to meet up with the cousins, aunties, uncles, nieces and nephews and others after what seemed like ages. Thankfully, I didn't meet any nosy and pushy relatives who tried to convince me to let my parents arrange a husband for me (I even went prepared with some sharp comebacks that these situations require, but it's a shame I didn't get to exercise any of those lines!).

The awkward/ simple Shu was transformed into an elegant lady with the help of her sister's choice of attire and a professional makeup artist. Photos that surfaced a few weeks later on Facebook, proved to be a hit (going by the positive comments). Initially, when the photos turned up and drew a bit of attention, I felt like a slug that crawled ignorantly out from under a rock only to be stunned by the flashing photos of the slug paparazzi. I was even told off by a couple of close friends when I gave due credit to the lighting technicians, the photographer, his sophisticated camera and the make up artist for tastefully enhancing my features. But I learned quickly to graciously thank everyone else for their compliments.

And just like that, it was time to leave back to Singapore.

The scenic drive from my hometown in Kandy to the Airport (took us nearly 3.5hours, the same time it takes me to fly from Singapore to Sri Lanka, actually) through mountainous terrain. In the background is the "Bible Rock" overlooking Kadugannawa

More lanterns on the roadsides!

Why, look at the time! It's almost time to start getting ready for work *nervous laugh*

The dwelling

"You know what might be fun?", I heard myself ask.
"YEAH!!! A night blog-a-thon!!", came the instant reply.

So here I am dosed up on a cup of coffee past midnight, determined to make it to the finish line and hoping I wont hit anyone at work tomorrow, being obviously sleep deprived. Why? Because my imaginary therapist was right. I am going to explode with overwhelming thoughts any day now.

In the past few weeks at work, when I really should be working, I have often found myself living inside my head (more than usual). But it happens that I seem to deliver the best speeches when I'm drifting off to sleep and draft good blog posts in my head when I am at work (somewhat like how I perform in rock concerts and play violin solos when I'm commuting in the train and how I travel the world and swim with the whales when I am in the bus).

Not having the luxury of sitting and blogging on a regular basis has taken its toll on me. It's not that I turn out world class posts or have pressing issues to blog on, but the simple process of downloading thoughts to an editable screen in front, that allows undo-ing, rephrasing, reviewing, etc, seems to have a magical effect on me. Like the new burner I got recently.

Back in university, we had to take several cross-discipline modules as part of the requirements to graduate. A lot of students saw it as a burden and a distraction from focusing on the core modules of their major. But not me! I had too much fun picking an array of modules on Astronomy, French, Computing, Quantum Physics, Psychology, Food Science, Communication, Tamil and Complementary Medicine. Doing those modules on external topics I was highly interested kept me sane enough to survive the competitive atmosphere of a South East Asian tertiary education system.

I recall bits of a lecture from the Complementary Medicine module on the effect of essential oils on the human senses and general well being. To put it to test, I bought a burner and tried a "mandarin and tangelo" infusion in my new room. It smells divine. And look at me, the oils have already made my brain think it's okay to stay up late and rattle about useless things.

Shu's new essential oil burner, which the sales lady assured won't set off any smoke alarms

I love the new room! It's clean, spacious and it's got Shu written all over it. There's more redecoration work to be done!

Imperfections

This is the last blog I'll be typing from my current room with the best view in the house. I'll really miss watching the rain and the rustling leaves while sitting cozily in bed. In sharing a 3-bedroom house, the four of us shift rooms in a way that everyone has a go at living in all the bedrooms for a specific time frame. The advantage of this arrangement is that we all get a change of scenery every few months and re-decorating our living spaces keeps our creative spirits alive. I, for one, am looking forward to moving to a larger space!!

A mini-park outside the room

My previous post really got me thinking about the the people we let into our inner world. That explains the title of this post. Just like we ourselves are far from perfection, they will be too. The people we keep close are the ones who make us feel wanted, loved and happy, the ones who make us better people in the process and are essentially the ones who have passed our own quality standards to qualify as people worthy of association (note to self: if that does not sound like the type of people in the inner circle, chuck them away right now because they really should be garbage of yesteryear and it's about time to revise my quality standards for human interactions).

Humans are mind-mindbogglingly complex. For every dozen or so inspiring and likable traits some people have, there's bound to be a few imperfections. No one had Life spelled out for them so whatever they've become are out of their own realisations resulting from their intellect, inherent nature, experiences, environment, etc, so I think an exceptional human being certainly deserves points for trying. If we analyse our friendships that have survived the test of time, we have often grown over the little imperfections in them  (that can be overlooked) like an old creeper plant does with jagged surfaces.

Shu is feeling like a cup of tea now and she realises that she has rambled a bit too far from the initial point she was trying to make...

So after some thought on the matter, Shu decided she should try to look at the few irritating traits of her good natured colleague from a different, non-judgmental perspective.

Though Shu does not express emotions much, she hopes her family and friends know she cherishes them very much.