People: Kumudu

My mother has a new helper who comes and helps us with housekeeping and making tofu. With me moving to the city to do a job and being occupied on weekends with my Master's research project, I can no longer help with housekeeping and guest welcoming activities at our Bed & Breakfast. The lady who used to help my mother earlier with making tofu no longer needed this second part time job since her elder son is now able to support her and her younger son.

The new helper is a lady in the village called Kumudu. On first impressions, she's very obese, moves slowly, is very chatty and has a hoarse but kind voice. She has a strong air of negativity around her, always speaking of her poverty, loans she has to pay off, family problems, health problems and a myriad of other problems. She also makes bad decisions in life, mostly by trusting people too much. She worked in Singapore as a domestic helper for several years, but she used up all her savings for various family issues. The last house she worked in didn't pay her several months of salary but Kumudu left the country and never followed up/ didn't know how to follow up. She also send an agent money for a life insurance for 3 years while she was abroad, but it seems this agent is now on the run and Kumudu does not have her money. Wherever she goes, she is very prone to exploitation because of her poverty, non-assertiveness, ignorance and tendency to trust people.

This is her story, as we've gathered over time.

When she was 16 years old and going to school, she was stalked and hounded by a boy in the village not much older than she was. He was a boy with a bad reputation and bad temper. He persisted in trying to gain her attention and even insisted to her mother on wanting to marrying her. Kumudu remembers being scared but for her, an alternate universe where she had choice in making decisions about her life did not exist. Even though the mother tried to stop it, the boy's mother had begged Kumudu's mother to let him have Kumudu and that she'll protect Kumudu because he had been torturing his own mother about it. Eventually, Kumudu's mother, for lack of better options in their poverty-striken lives, gave Kumudu away to go live with him.

The legal marriageable age in Sri Lanka according to the law (this excludes Muslims, who are subject to the Muslim Law which has no minimum age for marriage) is 18 years.

For the first few weeks of Kumudu moving into the boy's house, the boy's mother had protected Kumudu and slept with her. Eventually, the boy grew impatient and demanded that Kumudu sleep with him. We can safely assume that on the first day, a frightened 16 year old girl was raped while having no clue about sexual intercourse. Again, for her, an alternate universe where she had equal rights to gain pleasure from sexual intimacy never existed/ exists.

Stories like these are common in families of this socioeconomic status. Life does go on, and Kumudu went on to have four children. Her four children are married and now Kumudu has a total of twelve grandchildren, all of whom she adores. Her husband is engaged in many vices; drinking, smoking, taking drugs, gambling, extra-marital affairs and domestic violence. There's hardly been a day of joy or relief in Kumudu's life. Despite many health issues, she now works 4 part time odd jobs cleaning houses, pasting envelopes, making paper bags and selling tea leaves to make ends meet because her husband fails to contribute. In the past she's worked overseas and even worked in a quarry breaking up stones to be able to send her children to school. She also contributes most of her earnings for her grandchildren's well-being (education and food) because some of their parents are unable to make ends meet. Kumudu is therefore in a state of constant debt and poverty.

Kumudu has one son who's taken after his father. He drives a tuk tuk for his daytime job, he also uses drugs and gambles. Although he has a good wife (who gets along with Kumudu so well, which is not very common in a mother-in law and daughter-in-law relationship) and four children, he comes home drunk a lot, loses his temper and beats the living daylights off his wife. His children watch. Some days Kumudu says she can't sleep when her son or husband is late to come home because she's afraid of what is going to happen when the men arrive. She mostly fears not for herself, but for her daughter-in-law.

I once met her daughter-in-law. She's a pretty thing with a big smile and four children. No one would think that behind that smile lies so much misery.

When we need to contact Kumudu, we have to call her son to arrange it. Kumudu and her daughter-in-law do not own mobile phones. Their husbands have forbidden it, out of fear that their wives will call other men or have extra-marital affairs. Kumudu's daughter-in-law is forbidden to leave the house except for certain trips that her husband approves. She helps her mother-in-law with pasting envelopes and making paper bags from home. Kumudu is allowed to go work but she has a curfew. If she is not home be a certain time, she has to explain herself or get beaten.

Up until recently, Kumudu worked in another house for several days in the week. The woman there was nasty. Kumudu was expected to handwash the whole family's clothes, help with cooking, feed and look after a heavy toddler, and clean the house for a full day's salary of 600 rupees (USD 4). Often, she was too sick from joint and back pains to go to work the next day. Kumudu had once, as a desperate measure, taken a personal loan of 6000 rupees (40 USD) from the woman of this house. In an attempt to keep Kumudu bound to the job for a very long time, the woman refused to deduct more that Rs 100 (USD 0.70) from the loan amount for each day worked. She's still trying to pay it off.

Some of Kumudu's grandchildren have various problems in school. They have been associated with drugs, cigarettes, stealing, fights, boys bullying girls and girls seeking the attention of boys. My mother asked Kumudu to send the older kids for a discussion session once a week. I've observed my mother trying to get close to them by talking to them about good behaviour and doing fun activities like making various types of food. They like coming over to our house. She insists that these children can be saved from leading dysfunctional lives like their parents with proper intervention.

Kumudu also believes that the only chance for her grandchildren to escape poverty is to study well. That's why she spends nearly all her savings on them. She's unaware that these grandchildren most likely will also carry forward destructive habits and behaviours they have observed from their parents and grandparents. The boys will adopt misogynistic attitudes in this patriarchal society. The girls will accept their submissive female roles in society and ignorantly bring up their sons to feel superior.

It appears to be vicious cycle.

I've asked my mother if anything can be done to help these women get out of this cycle of abuse. We could call the police, we discussed, but our anonymity may not be maintained. Worst case, Kumudu and her grandchildren maybe forbidden to visit our house. We could talk to our village in-charge (Grama Niladhari) and see if anything can be done. She's a lady so maybe she will have the compassion to get involved and try to solve this problem. There's also the chairman of the village welfare society, who we plan to get advice from. He's a man. If he doesn't believe that husbands have a right to beat and discipline their wives once in a while, he may be willing to help.

Domestic violence is surprisingly too common here. It is widely believed that domestic disputes should be settled at home and wife beating is ‘part and parcel of married life’. In fact, a local saying suggests that "there are three things you can beat: the dog, the drum and the woman". A new report released in October 2017 estimates that 60 per cent of women in Sri Lanka will experience domestic abuse at some point in their lifetimes. For some, the violence appears bound to the country’s increasing levels of male alcoholism. Drinking-related issues are more than twice as common in Sri Lanka than across the rest of South Asia. For others, it’s linked to drugs (recent countrywide figures suggest there are over 45,000 regular users of heroin).

For some women, this is a normal part of married life

In 2005, Sri Lanka enacted the Prevention of Domestic Violence Act (PDVA) No 34 of 2005. However, it is not 100% effective in protecting victims of domestic violence. Even though the penal code classifies violence as a criminal act, the PDVA does not criminalise the beating of one’s spouse. It only protects the victim by way of a Protection Order which is only valid for one year, after which the victim is made vulnerable once again. If the protection order is violated by the abuser, the court may order a fine not exceeding 10,000 rupees (USD 65) or sentence imprisonment not exceeding one year. The support systems for women are weak or non-existent. There are no mechanisms in place to provide the victim with medical care, economic support until they are able to support themselves and assistance in caring for their children or ensuring that the children are not abducted after school by the abusive husband. Marital rape is also not considered ‘rape’ in Sri Lanka's penal code. 

Given all these facts, most women choose to stay in abusive relationships without seeking help from the law. They keep running back to their abusers because of codependency issues and/or fear of social stigma. The power imbalance in these relationships is so great and added with sustained emotional abuse over time, these women are convinced there is no way out.  If there are children involved, they see no future where they can survive without a husband/ father figure in this society. After a while, even neighbours, relatives and friends become immune to known cases of repeated domestic violence. At times, the best advice they can offer is to "try to work things out with your husband". At other times, well-wishers realise that the victim does not want to attempt to break free from the abuser so they give up any efforts to help. In reality, breaking free is not as easy as it sounds.

So what can a victim really do?

Abusers have emotional control over their victims. It is unlikely that a victim's first thought is to get help from the Police. The authorities can't put the abusers away for a long period of time. Existing laws don't enable the authorities to do that.

Will the authorities be able to guarantee these women long term protection? Assuming the abusers are locked up for one incident, what happens when they return from imprisonment? Are they not going to hurt their wives even more as revenge? Perhaps in a fit of rage, they can even attempt to kill these women. Do the authorities do regular follow up checks to ensure the abusers are not repeating the abuse?

Can any form of reformative training change the abusive habit patterns of these men? No one knows. Even if it was successful, it's not implemented here.

For the moment, it appears that victims of domestic violence in Sri Lanka have not much choice but to embrace their ill fate.

Kumudu's spirit of survival, in the harsh circumstances that life has given her, is noteworthy.

The Sunday Classifieds

According to my weekly routine, I took the early morning train this morning to make the 2hr 45mins journey from home to office. Train journeys are my favourite. I can hardly sleep while traveling by train because looking out the window (at green paddy fields, paddy farmers at work, birds and other scenery), reading a book in solitude, listening to music or being lost in thought feels so good and therapeutic. I actually feel a bit disheartened when I get closer to the alighting station (unless I really have to use a toilet!).

As I neared my office, I got a message from the boss saying that the office is not yet ready (we shifted last week) so we have to take today and tomorrow off.

Hurrah!

Not sure what to do with myself, I contemplated taking the big red tour bus (mostly for tourists) for sightseeing around the city of Colombo. Or a 2 hr trip to the Galle Fort for some photography. Or a visit to the Butterfly Garden at Moratuwa. In the end, I decided to stay in and relax because last weekend at home was hectic and I could do with some rest.

After downing half a bag of chips, I ate a large bar of Bounty chocolate followed by instant noodles for lunch (small joys of having a day off in solitude). Then my Aunty gave me a newspaper clipping about a newly opened Mangrove Museum that she had saved for me. After I was done reading and when I turned the page over, I stumbled on the "Marriage Proposals" section and discovered I had hit a gold mine (of entertainment).

Out of a total of 107 advertisements, 60 belonged to people, mostly parents, trying to "auction" their daughters to a prospective groom. 47 belonged to people, again mostly parents, who tried to attract a trophy wife for their supposedly perfect son. It appears there is a surplus of females in the marriage market, compared to males.

The first thing that strikes (a cynical) one who reads these is the overwhelming amount of showing off required to pitch one's son or daughter of marriageable age to a potential partner. Next is how most are marketed like perfect people who have good height, looks, character, excellent qualifications, are endowed with wealth, etc. Mind, these high marriage expectations are mostly those of the parents and not necessarily of their children to be married. There were even hints of embarrassment by parents whose daughters though well educated, were a little older.

Here are some of Shuri's picks from a "Marriage Proposals" section in a Sri Lankan newspaper. It really is a good reflection of how people of Sri Lanka feel about arranged marriages.

It sounds almost as if the parents are apologetic because their daughter had to study too long and because she's older now (but thank goodness she looks "younger than her age"!). Also "we pat ourselves on the back for finding a medical doctor wife for our PhD son, through an advertisement like this!"

Somehow, the parents can confidently vouch for their son's abstinence from alcohol and all other "vices" that young men are tempted into these days. Also, the mother wants a daughter who is 75% about the looks ("fair, pretty and slim") and 25% about brains ("academically qualified").

Did he just call himself "smart"?

We are richhh.

Hailing from a very famous family, devoid of all vices and looking for a very beautiful daughter.

Oh dear, the poor boy has been cursed because of his parents planets! 

Tip: Age, height and adjectives on looks should appear before educational qualifications when marketing your daughter.

Did the mother just humiliate her daughter in public media by calling her "bit chubby"? Does the daughter even know about this? (Probably not).

 Don't worry, she's 38 but looks only 25. I wonder if these parents who are embarrassed by the age and looks of their daughter managed to instill a healthy level of self-esteem in their daughter while she grew up. Again, probably not.

Only 1 out of 107 advertisements humanised the subject of the advertisement by adding a line about her interests. Whew.

To be fair, an advertisement with very little information also rouses suspicion. "Is he a murderer who killed off the people who were previously contributing to his encumbrances?"

With increasing mobility and scattering of people around the globe, there is more isolation of certain nationalities in foreign lands. For conservative families that want to retain their cultural roots by dictating the terms of marriage for their children, arranged marriages are perhaps the only way forward. And it is almost statistically impossible for people of marriageable age to find partners on their own who fulfill the marriage criteria set by their parents. To sieve through so many marriage proposal advertisements to find a match and then do the formalities after an initial match is found (leading to wedding, if successful) are extremely tedious tasks. Most Asian parents willingly go through this obligation with much devotion, patience and hope to ensure a happily ever after for their children. Else, they see it as a failure of their duties as parents and a conservative society will keep reminding them should they fail. Parents at this stage don't see what all the fuss from their children is (to agree to a good match) after all the trouble they took to ensure that the compatibility of the two persons (measured by caste, religion, socioeconomic factors and astrology) had the highest possible score. 

Personally, I see nothing wrong with an arranged marriage if it is 1. consensual, 2. if marriage itself (and starting a family) were part of someone's goals in life, either by choice or by sticking to societal norms, and 3. passing down religious values, culture and traditions are an important aspect. After all, an arranged marriage is convenient, it comes with an extended warranty (from family, relatives and friends who vouched for the marriage), one can finally start a family of their own, there are good chances of succeeding in life financially because education, occupation and wealth factors were carefully considered from the initial stages and cultural roots can be maintained. Also, the concept of "falling in love" first (this being mainly emotion-driven) and giving secondary importance to other compatibility factors are not necessarily an assurance of a lasting marriage. In all cases of marriage (arranged and non-arranged), constant effort and contribution by both parties to keep the relationship healthy, is the only indicator of lasting success and happiness. 

Disclaimer: Shuri remains convinced that the idea of a marriage (for the sake of achieving a milestone) does not align with her priorities or goals in life. Although Shuri is fond of children and they seem to like her back, she is not entirely sure she wants 100% ownership of them or that she can manage the anxiety that will come with such a big responsibility (of ensuring their safety always and good character). Shuri is also aware that the possibility of remaining single to the end of her days requires resolve  - to tide through life's challenges without a dedicated companion, be an outcast in society and accept illness and death alone and gracefully as it comes - and she feels she can handle it. 

To believe or not

The other day, I called my mother frantically and told her, "MOTHER, I'M BURNING, WHAT SHOULD I DO???"

(I had a urinary tract infection and two painful styes in both eyes)

However old you get, you can never replace that comforting feeling you get from your mother, especially when you are sick. She calmed me down and gave a list of things to drink, if I could find them at that hour of the night; king coconut water, boiled cumin, boiled barley or aloe vera.

Then after I hung up, she called me up again a few times to add more things to the list.

"MOTHER CAN YOU STOP CALLING NOW I HAVE TO GO MAKE THE BARLEY QUICKLY. I'M BURNING?!" said I, sounding somewhat ungrateful.

Within a day of home remedies, my UTI and styes in both my eyes reduced significantly, something that the 5 days of antibiotics prior to that could not cure. Sure, it could be that it took time for the antibiotic course to finally act. However, once people in cultures like ours become desperate to get better, they tend to mix contemporary and traditional remedies at the same time (against medical advice), so usually, it is hard to conclude which remedy actually cured the disease.

The new and older generations differ in their opinions on traditional medicine like Ayurvedic medicine. The new generation prefers "western" medicine because it is fast acting (at least in curing the symptoms), scientifically proven, quantified with various modern diagnostic tests available to know the status of a disease. The older generation prefers time tested traditional medicine made of herbs and natural ingredients because even though they are slow acting and cumbersome to prepare, it gives little or no side effects and it takes a holistic approach to cure a disease by restoring the natural balance of the body (not by treating just one or more isolated symptoms). While some think that it could be a case of the "placebo effect" for traditional medicine, others swear by its goodness.

Astrology faces similar scrutiny from newer generations. Traditionally, astrology is an important part of our culture starting from the birth of a child, to puberty, to marriage, new businesses, building a new house and nearly every other special event in life. New generations tend to push off astrology as non-scientific and pure quackery! There are a significant amount of fraudsters that prey on the vulnerabilities of people to astrology to make quick bucks, but again like traditional medicine, many resort to it when things in life spiral out of control or fear takes over or because they don't want to take a chance (in case they were wrong not to believe in it!). Could planets actually affect one's personality and is one's destiny precomposed? That's a little hard to accept personally, however, I've found that the general personality descriptions of the astrological signs (e.g. Cancer, Rooster, etc) do seem to be applicable.

Image source: Cartoonstock

Another interesting phenomenon are people who claim to have divine powers to foresee the future or cure diseases that modern medicine can't. Some claim it's their dead family members or relatives that speak through them. Others claim it is someone divine that wishes to help people through them. My mother being a curious creature has been to various such people over the years through recommendations, and I have been dragged along quite unwillingly. When I was younger, I feared that these people would read my mind and expose the secrets I kept inside. As I got older, I wanted to challenge them to expose my secrets and try to observe what might be going on beyond the veil of faith. While it is hard to verify if there is any rational explanation to this occurrence, A skeptic like me would assume these people are good with reading body language of others, convincing speakers and clever in carving out a special niche for a profession. Also, it is easy to see how having a lot of followers can be a huge ego boost to these people, which may even make them mentally imbalanced and manipulative. On the other hand, if a tragedy strikes us, like seeing a loved one battle a terminal illness, we would push aside all our reservations and accept any paranormal miracle that promises a cure.

Intuition is another thing that is hard to explain with Science. That "gut feeling" telling you of things to do or not to do, which turns out to be right later. It is more convincing than superstition. It continues to guide us in the decisions we make in life, if we are sensitive enough to feel it. It might be a level of psychological sensitivity that is present more in some brain circuits than others.

People who believe, continue to believe. Whether it is religion, superstition, traditional medicine, astrology or paranormal phenomena - it is hard to convince people of the opposite of what they believe, even in the presence of evidence. Also, the belief levels of people in these things we can't explain tend to be in a varying scale. While some are hard core believers, others may be somewhere in the middle (like me) or completely disbelievers. Again, it appears so due to the nature of how people are psychologically wired.

Not counting factors like socioeconomic status, it is possible that our beliefs and rationality ratios change with the various stages of life. Older people tend to be more religious, superstitious and believing in the inexplicable. Maybe older people make peace with the conflict younger people have in whether to believe or not in these things. There is also the possibility that Science, as a growing field, is yet to uncover explanations for some of the things we find hard to believe at present.

I'm a super-absorbent sponge

This weekend I stayed back from going home. Now without the pressures of lectures and exams, I am free to roam around. The only way to hold me back it seems is to tie me to something, or else, off I go. 

The place I stay during the week is very conveniently located in a centralised location of the capital city. Because of this, I am able to participate in various events, that hardly happens in my hometown.

The appearance of migrant birds in Sri Lanka begins end of August and goes on until early April. Today, I joined a lecture on migrant birds, organised by a local birding club. I'm very new to birding. And to be honest, I was never fascinated with birds, but with exposure at the Jurong Bird Park in Singapore and observing various birds around my home garden, my opinions on birds have changed. Today was an introductory lecture and tomorrow off we go to a wetland park to see what birds we can observe. Fun. I am worried I'll oversleep and get left behind. 

I also did the mistake thinking it was a good idea to stick around for a second lecture on orchids. This lecture coincided with the lunch hour, so I was somewhat hungry and restless. The lecturer was so fascinated by orchids and was bouncing around the podium, but I unfortunately failed to be as fascinated as him. I suppose there will always be a divide between zoologists and botanists. I did learn so many new facts about orchids though. 

An Indian Pita - a common migrant in Sri Lanka

(Source: Wikipedia)

While searching for images of Pita birds, this image came up on the suggestions! Now I feel hungry. 

(Source: sfgate.com)

I also watched the Gandhi movie today. Gandhi is a truly interesting character and what he managed to achieve in his lifetime is mind-boggling. 

These are some of my favourite sayings of his:

"You must be the change you wish to see in the world."

“The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated.”

"Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony."

"The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others."

“Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.”

“Earth provides enough to satisfy every man's needs, but not every man's greed.”

“In a gentle way, you can shake the world.”

“If we are to reach real peace in the world, we shall have to begin with the children.”

Greener aspirations

It's not like I had a lot of options to choose from when I took an unorthodox route in continuing my higher studies. Normally, people go from good universities to better ones, but I went from a university that brags being top 10 in the world to a university that ranks somewhere below the 2000th spot. The quality of education between the two universities is not comparable. The former consisted of top notch facilities, the brightest and most accomplished experts in their respective fields as educators, and syllabuses covering the most recent advances in the field. In comparison, the latter had a mostly outdated syllabus and much lesser facilities. In contrast, the latter also had a slower pace of learning, more inspirational educators from the Biology field and lesser competition. Though it was a privilege to be able to attend my previous university, it also taught me that extreme competition and rigorous assessments can kill the joy of learning.

What we actually take from a university education is not concrete knowledge. 99.99% of what we absorb during lectures and memorise for exams will be forgotten. I know this well since I returned to books after a long gap of 9 years. Instead, what stays with us (besides the degree scroll and transcript) are a fascination/hatred of the subject, fuel to develop our own abstract ideas of our subject and the skills of knowing how and where to find the resources we need later on. The fascination and development of abstract ideas are greatly helped by having inspirational mentors and lots of field exposure.

One week ago, my coursework ended. No more lectures, no more exams. Yay! No more meeting up with the classmates as a group. I'll miss that. I didn't feel the stress of working 4 days in the week and doing a Master's course for 2 days in the week thanks to them. They were fun, they were helpful in my studies where I failed and I had a brood of young ones to "look after" which gave me a strange sense of satisfaction. Although I have a tendency to want to run away from the sight of human babies, there is a certain maternal core in Shu that melts for animals and young humans.

I invited my classmates over for a farewell tea since I am the host of this city of Kandy. Not everyone could make it on the same weekend, so this farewell tea had to be stretched over two weekends to the slight dismay of my mother. Why couldn't they all come on the same day?? She had to make her special "cutlets" for two weekends and help clean the house without my help since I had exams on both weekends. They enjoyed the food, she got along well with them (especially the boys) and they really liked her company, so I never heard any complaints from her after that.

Like having friends from various countries is fun, having friends of various parts of Sri Lanka is also fun. We have invited each other to our homes for the times to come. Surely, like school, some classmates will drop off the radar, but a handful seem like keepers (like all of you reading my blog!).

On the map of Sri Lanka, that's me and the University in the middle with the red marker, and the origins of other classmates are represented by the small yellow stars. it also gives an indication of how far they traveled on a weekly basis for lectures.

(Image: Google Maps)

If some of the classmates play their cards right, they'll end up in big places. My simple expectation of this course was to be able to tie my interests in the environment to any related career. I suppose I will be content to float around like a feather or an average Joe in an area coinciding with my interests. For them, there were bigger stakes; escaping poverty, going for the overseas experience for the first time, getting good jobs, getting big titles, having better social status, being able to rise up so they can help elevate the status of their disadvantaged communities, etc. I sincerely hope the trade winds will be in favour of their sails after this course.

As for me, I'm happy. I've turned greener since I arrived in Sri Lanka about an year ago and started the course and my environment-related job. I enjoy doing mini environmental projects at home. I'm constantly thinking of ways to increase the biodiversity around the garden like putting up feeding stations, growing more flowering plants for the bees and growing more fruit plants. I'm currently in the process of making a registry of fauna in my garden. The next project is to make a small pond! For now, I am happily occupied and not too worried about what the future will hold.

Now begins the harder part of independent research component of the Master's course! With no prior experience in formal independent research, no peers for moral support and no strict schedules to control me, I have to battle many internal demons like procrastination, Facebook and laziness to be a successful researcher.

Time for a service

I find it really hard to focus on writing lately. I'm not sure why. At first I thought it must be because I am usually busy, but no, I've always been an occupied person. And I always make time to do the things I like. So it's not that.

Maybe my losing touch with writing has to do with feeling detached with my authentic self once again. Maybe my ego has been slowly growing with too much praise and Facebook likes. Or maybe I've reached a place where all that I've realised so far about myself is serving me well, and I see no need for further growth for the time being. Maybe I'm selectively focusing on only the positive aspects in life and refusing to acknowledge the negative aspects that lurk at the back of my mind. Maybe I feel more exposed and less welcome coming to this blog now, unlike earlier when it felt like a safer refuge for expression of the good, bad and the ugly. Maybe current circumstances have pushed me towards the slightly extroverted end of the spectrum so the introvert in me has silenced. Maybe it is time to moult, leaving that old casing behind.

A moulting crab (Source: Giphy)

Whatever it is, our sense of balance in the core is slightly shaken and it's about time we went back to time-tested methods of repairing ourselves. Shu, why do you address yourself as two people? It's creepy. I know, right?

Beyond the Classroom

Just when life in the university had settled into a predictable routine (in terms of the standard of education, educators, lecture styles, exams, etc), where the expected always happened, something threw us off guard.

The last subject of the curriculum called "Legal Protection of the Environment" commenced a few weeks ago. This was the first time any of us had any exposure to environmental law. The administration sent a genius to teach us the subject. My mind exploded on the first day of lecture. I've never felt more awake and alive in a lecture (except maybe when I used to listen to my favourite lecturer Dr Phil Chan at my previous university).

Our new lecturer for environmental law was a soft-spoken, simple-looking old gentleman. Nothing about him strikes as out-of-the-ordinary until he starts to speak. That's when the magic starts.

The first thing that struck me was how captivating he was as a speaker/ story teller. He was able to use words perfectly, precisely and logically with so much conviction in his delivery that I could have been easily fooled into thinking everything he said was true (without any further verification) and that being an environmental lawyer might have been an interesting profession for me to try out. I suppose his long years of professional training as a lawyer made him a naturally convincing speaker.

The next thing that struck me was his extraordinary knowledge on a broad variety of topics like history, war strategies, psychology, philosophy, politics, zoology, botany, chemistry, art and (the obvious) law. He was clever at weaving his knowledge across the sciences and the arts, much like a crochet pattern, to send his point across and draw the interest of the audience. This coupled with his sharp memory of historical facts, dates, locations, scientific names of animals and plants, etc, made sure that no one in class nodded off during his lectures. I sat in the front row on all three days, listened intently, and like a puppy waiting for treats, I picked up tidbits of interesting information that fell out of him, savoured some rightaway and pocketed the rest to go read up later.

And then there was his passion for nature, his country and his lifelong mission to fight against environmental injustice. With this came stories of various cases he had handled over the years as well as ongoing cases in the country. He was very outspoken and critical in his statements. He invited us to find out about current issues and bring them up for discussion in class. He even offered to speak on topics outside our syllabus, if it piqued our curiosity and that he was open to discussing it to the best of his knowledge. He slayed every case that the class brought up for discussion (he seemed under-challenged by what we could present), gave us insider details and led us through the logical sequence of his analyses.

He drew parallels between winning court cases and winning battles with sound military strategies. He also introduced us to John Boyd's OODA Loop which I found fascinating. It implies that the key in winning is to obscure your intentions and make them unpredictable to the opponent while simultaneously clarifying their intentions. Operating at a faster tempo generates rapidly changing conditions that inhibits the opponent from adapting or reacting to those changes, which will suppress or destroy the opponent's awareness. Confusion and disorder that follows causes the opponent to over or under-react to conditions or activities that appear to be uncertain, ambiguous, or incomprehensible. With this understanding, an individual or an organization that can process this loop quickly, observing and reacting to unfolding events more rapidly than an opponent can, is able to "get inside" the opponent's decision cycle and gain the advantage.

That is also, I assume, how he left us in a state of disorientation, awe and surrender to his speed of delivery and vast knowledge of facts.

The OODA Loop. Source: Wikipedia

One day, he asked us to find the significance of 24th June for discussion at the next class. The only clue he gave was that it involved Kandy, my hometown. I asked around, tried Google, but had no luck.

Later, we learned of this interesting historical fact (in his own words):

"24th June marks the 214th anniversary of the successful guerrilla campaign (or, peoples war) waged by our forces against the British who occupied the Mahanuwara and Kadawath-satara for four months in 1803. The British forces under Major Davy surrendered in the afternoon of 24.06.1803 but used it as a ruse to make a counter-attack two days later near the Mahaweli Ganga at Watapuluwa on 26.06.1803 from where they were allowed to go back across the river.

This attack was repulsed with no casualties on our side but only their commander Major Davy and two others were left alive to be captured. This place where the Colombo International School (in Watapuluwa) is at present, marks that decisive victory (which has, as can be expected is depicted as a massacre by British). The Bo tree, named Davies Tree by the British in 1906, and which is the only living testimony to the battle is also within the school premises. 

It was Pilimatalawe Maha Adikaram and his deputy Ehelepola who devised the long-term offensive and effectively executed it. They became more popular and the king got jealous and others carried tales to widen the rift. This led to the sequence of events that culminated in our surrender in 1815. However, the British learnt their lesson and used intrigue and guile, not military might, to subjugate us. 

It is sad to note that we neither commemorate this victory, nor are aware of this brilliant episode in military history as it is not taught to us. Today marks the 214 years of this victory, and it was sad to see that this day was forgotten by everybody. No one has written any papers on the strategy adopted by us in this war. History books do not mention it either. Therefore, we cannot blame the people to have missed this occasion because hardly anyone is aware of such an episode. This is what the British always wanted, to glorify their victories and hide their defeats. We have still to come out of this rut. 

I take this opportunity to bestow merits on all of our valiant troops who made this possible and those who planned and led them to battle."

To think that a bloody battle of this scale took place 214 years ago, 4 kilometers from my home, left me speechless. And I am not even a big fan of history. 

While I was reading up on him, I learnt that in 2016, he was given a lifetime award by the President of Sri Lanka for the service done for wildlife conservation. He had also won a special jury award in 2016 for being a key person on environmental conservation and for representing civil society to fight on environment destruction for more than four decades. The internet is peppered with various articles with his mentions.

His life story as we learned through an article was an inspiring one. He had faced adversities in his life like being displaced by the war, and not being able to follow the degree or profession he liked. Despite being a great lawyer, he maintains that his true passion is being a naturalist and that he would have been happier as an environmentalist, writer or artist. In his free time, he draws sketches of various animals and birds, voluntarily lectures at academic institutions, travels to conduct field research, etc. He had recently stopped attending courts (except for special cases) citing being "sick, sad and disillusioned about the systems in Sri Lanka." He further added that "There are hardly any results of the work we do and that is not because we are not doing our best, but merely because of the way the systems in this country function."

He stressed that his expectations from us at the exams were to make sure we grasped the concept of the subject. Knowing that we were not law students, he didn't demand we regurgitate sections (word for word) from various environmental laws, ordinances and acts in the country. Although he was well versed in the English language, he reminded the class that he was not here to test anyone's language skills. As long as he understood what the students were trying to explain, he would be satisfied.

What he said brought home another point. Present-day education systems often fails us. Too much importance is given to theory, rigid assessments and regurgitating facts by recent memory. Lesser importance is given to hands-on learning and the simple joys of learning. Subjects are taught within the confines of narrow compartments. There are less linkages across various subjects like how things are in reality. Skills for lifelong learning are given less priority. The combined result is that our education stops when we step out of the educational institution's doors. We think and solve problems through compartmentalised thinking patterns. We are poor in critical thinking. Our knowledge on areas besides our major is poor. We have less appreciation of the arts if we are science folk and vice versa. We haven't made proper left and right hemisphere connections in our brains to make well-rounded decisions. Our passions, if they weren't sparked during the course, die with time. We move about in society like emotionless robots with little concern for people and our surroundings. After we've long forgotten what we memorised from books, we are left wondering what we gained from our long years of education. And looking at our report cards and university transcripts, we wonder if our grades are an all-round reflection of our true abilities.

I'm very thankful that my path crossed with this personality. In the three short days of his lectures, he went beyond the syllabus to open our minds to think more critically, to keep reading and educating ourselves, to keep a healthy curiosity, to not follow the herd blindly, to appreciate the arts and to never stop fighting for justice. I personally felt what he taught us in three days was more useful than all the lecturers of the course combined. His style of teaching stretched the mind and extended beyond the course. For that, his love of nature, and the service he has done for wildlife and the environment, he has my deepest respect.



References:
Paranamanna, L. "Jagath Gunawardena - A naturalist at heart". Retrieved from http://www.nation.lk/2008/10/05/eyefea3.htm on 7th July 2017.

Candid Peel

This morning at around 5 a.m., I was woken up by loud screams. The sounds sent chills down my spine. My first thought was that someone somewhere really close by was getting murdered or raped.

Soon my lane was buzzing with neighbours in their nightwear flocking to the house where the screams originated. Other neighbours talked to each other to piece together what was going on. The police arrived shortly to rule out any foul play. I refrained from visiting that house since I did not know them personally, but I knew that in a few moments, I'll have all the details.

As the events unfolded, I learned that one of my neighbours had committed suicide. The screams I heard were that of a shocked mother who came to wake her 27-year old daughter for work, only to find a lifeless body hanging from a ceiling fan. The trigger for the suicide of this young woman who was to be married next month had been a tragic love story.

People, possibly out of disbelief, are still speculating on the tragedy and passing various forms of judgement on the person whose life ended this morning.

Earlier this month, another 25-year old girl from my university had jumped in front of a train. Her head had been detached in the process. She had been a recent graduate working as a demonstrator at the university. According to circulating news, it was another tragic love story.

I have a low opinion of people who succeed with suicide. To a great extent, I believe that they are selfish cowards who fail to comprehend the magnitude of grief that they thoughtlessly leave behind for their immediate family members. However, suicide is a complex issue. The reasons people commit suicide are many fold. Depression, impulse, psychosis and feelings of extreme helplessness are some of them.

Despite my low opinion of people who commit suicide, there was one particular era in my own life, many years ago, when even I seriously considered it. Consideration for my family members and the grief they would feel in my absence were dulled by the overwhelming feelings of despair built up over an extended time. Death felt like the only solace and the only control I had to put an end to the suffering. I had decided that I would overdose on paracetamol (now I know what an ill-thought plan it was for a suicide attempt!).

As I sat crying on the floor of a darkened room, I was half scared of what was going to happen after I swallowed a few pills, and I was half hoping someone would come bursting through the door to save me. Thankfully, a minuscule part of me was still sensible. A faint inner voice told me to take a paper and write. Yes, it was a strange request but one that probably saved my life that night. I thought I'd list out every memorable/ significant/ insignificant achievement I managed on my own up to that point in life.

In the first piece of paper, I scribbled every random thing that came to mind. How I started earning around age 15 by giving tuition, how I once swam to the middle of the river to save a beetle that was drowning, how I managed to get entry to a good university, how I had seen several children improve their grades with a little extra attention from me, how I had great childhood memories with my two friends, etc. The list kept extending till I filled in about 4 inky pages. By the time I read what I wrote a few times, I knew I had to put away the pills and pull myself together, somehow. Incidentally, that's what prompted me to re-attempt blogging.

Thinking back, maybe I didn't really want to die that day, I just wanted to be some place that I wasn't alive. Not everyone gets help on time and not everyone has the will to reverse a strong impulse like suicide when it does occur in the mind.

According to WHO, suicide is a global phenomenon. About 800,000 people die due to suicide every year and there are many more who attempt suicide. Millions of people are affected or experience suicide bereavement every year. Suicide occurs throughout the lifespan and is the second leading cause of death among 15-29 year olds globally. For each adult who died of suicide (like my neighbour) there may have been more than 20 others (like me) attempting suicide. Those are some sad statistics.

Risk factors

If you suspect anyone trying to attempt suicide:

1) Ask
If you think someone might be suicidal, ask them directly "Are you thinking about suicide?" Don’t be afraid to do this, it shows you care and will actually decrease their risk because it shows someone is willing to talk about it. Make sure you ask directly and unambiguously.

2) Listen and stay with them

If they say 'yes', they are suicidal, listen to them and allow them to express how they are feeling. Don’t leave them alone. Stay with them or get someone else reliable to stay with them.

3) Get help

Get them appropriate help. Call a crisis line if life is in danger. If you can get in straight away visit a GP or psychologist. Even if the danger is not immediate they may need longer term support for the issues that led to them feeling this way.

~ ~ ~

As I wrapped up this blog post, I once again heard the screams of the grief-stricken mother who just received the casket containing the embalmed body of her daughter.

M.Sc. for Juvenile Delinquents

Next month, I'll be done with one year of coursework. The six months after that will be spent on independent research with no more lectures or exams. And if everyone in class finishes their research projects on time (which is unlikely), we'll all meet again on graduation day in 2018.

Hurrah?

I think not.

I'm really going to miss my crazy classmates and the good times we had/ have during classes. I'm feeling a sense of dread and sadness when I think it's all going to be over in a few week's time. Even though the students are serious people during week days doing serious jobs like being lecturers, teachers, guest speakers, chemists, assistant directors, etc, during the weekend, it's a completely different story.

During the weekend, these same people are throwing things at each other, poking fun at each other, laughing like jackasses, plucking fruits from trees in the campus, poking each other with compasses, taking blackmail-worthy photos of other students sleeping for example, passing food while the lecturers turn their backs on the class, etc. Each different type of personality makes some contribution which makes the class a colourful and fun place to be (and if they don't contribute, they are automatically qualified as guinea pigs for the others to prey on). It's no wonder I fit in comfortably with this lot, despite coming from a slightly different background.

This really happens in postgraduate level classes

Being forced to spend about 14 hours every week for an year (except those weekends they closed down for strikes!), sharing food, sharing notes, sharing woes, copying each other's lab reports and assignments, attending class weddings, having each other's backs, uniting against injustices from the administration and going on field trips have made us closer. In a very recent incident, the eldest classmate, who we affectionately called "Big Brother" collapsed in class and died later in hospital. The incident shocked and shattered us, but in a profound way, the shared grief also made us closer.

They are a good bunch. Nearly all of them help with explaining concepts, notes and assignments (at the risk of bringing up the class average) without the slightest hint of reservation. This is one quality I found to be very strange. I recall in my undergraduate years, the student culture in that university didn't involve much sharing or approaching other students for help because of the highly competitive nature of the course.

Normally not one to display much emotion, I've subconsciously come to think of at least 75% of the batch as my children. I'm only younger than two of them. The youngest ones in class are eight years younger than I am. Every time they come to me for childish requests or guidance on things, I find my maternal instincts kicking in. Looking at their youthful eyes and potential, I constantly feel the urge to meddle in their personal affairs, open their minds to personal development possibilities they have not heard of, try to boost their sense of self-worth, feed them fruit and make sure they are not left behind in class. They are also quick to push me to the battlefront and line up behind me when they are too afraid to approach lecturers for certain requests or fear repercussions. Now on some level I realise they are using me, but I suppose I can let the small things pass.

Shuri, I think you are getting too soft with age.

Sometimes, I feel like this Possum mother. Seriously. 

There are many professions I could have excelled at, such as environmentalist, zoo keeper, veterinarian, semi-failed writer, failed musician, auditor or detective. However, what I was really born to be is a record keeper who observes people, collects information and analyses patterns. While I have been attending one year of coursework in environmental science, I have also been storing information on the personal lives of nearly 23 people I met in class.

If someone were to walk into my mind, they would find a vault. In that vault are several hundred files of people, arranged according to the various circumstances I met them, for example, "Family", "School", "Undergraduate", "Masters", "Childhood", "Teachers", "2nd Job in Singapore", "Dubai", etc. Some files contain more information than others, but usually each file has a photograph, name, age, educational background, family history, career profile, likes, dislikes, temperament, skills, born talents, quality of childhood, specific life events of adversity, aspirations, hidden potential, areas of expertise, etc. Files will be updated with any new information that comes along, even if it is long after we no longer interact on a regular basis.

I am of the opinion that collecting such information is essential to make an overall quality assessment on the people I let into my world, appreciate them and help me figure out how best to interact with them.

Ah, there's robotic Shuri again.

Having to leave behind friends and move on is a recurring fact of life. Some friends keep returning to your life even after long gaps of absence. The wonderful memories collected will be archived in yet another vault. If I'm lucky, some friendships from this chapter will stick and continue to age like good wine.

The little drummer

This is a story about a little drummer.

I have never met a kid so passionate about something, having solid future plans to pursue his ambitions. Udara is a 11-year old. His ambition is to become a traditional Sri Lankan dancer/ drummer, despite his brother's expectations of him becoming a professional football player. Besides compulsively feeling the urge to tap his fingers on surfaces, he loves acquiring various types of traditional drums. Drums can be really loud but thankfully his mother is a patient soul who lets him practice at home.

There's always a huge smile plastered on this 11-year old's face

We came to know this family through my adopted brother. Udara's brother was his best friend in school and later, Udara's mother came to help my mother in the tofu business. His mother is a genuinely kind, caring and inspiring character. Since losing her husband to a cancer when Udara was 4 years old, she's gone through unimaginable hardships and challenges to give her two boys a good education. Things are slowing looking up for this family.

Her hard work paid off with her elder son who is now a full time professional footballer playing for the Sri Lankan Army. He realised at an early age after losing his father that a good education was the only way to support his mother and little brother. He managed to do well in his Grade 5 national exams and got a scholarship to one of the best government schools in Kandy. From then on, he's never looked back. Although he now lives far away and comes home only for the holidays, he's currently channeling his savings to renovate his house. 

Udara's mother works two jobs which means Udara stays alone at home (with his dog Brownie) after school till she gets back at 9 pm. Many years of this routine has transformed Udara to an independent little person left to his own imagination and adventures. He cooks, makes various desserts he learns about from TV or other people, cleans the house, plays football, rears fish and turtles, goes for dancing and drumming classes, rides bicycle, goes grocery shopping on his own, etc. He also participates in various religious processions in the area, like the perahera of the Temple of the Tooth. He's a well known personality in his neighbourhood due to his sociability.

I was introduced to his 2nd freshwater turtle recently

This family is very close to us as we are to them. They are usually the first responders if someone in our family gets sick. We exchange gifts for New Year, share food and go on trips together.

I suspect Udara has a "big sister crush" on me since he completely adores me. He loves coming over to our place and constantly invites me to his place to show his tortoises, fish and this collection of drums, play carrom and ride the bicycle. He happily accompanies me on my "Garden Adventures" to spot birds, tiny reptiles and other animals. While we look for birds high up on the trees, he narrates various stories he's heard from other people. Recently, we invited him to go watch a movie and he told us later that it was his first time in a theater and that he was very thankful for the invitation. I can't tell if it's his upbringing or background which has made him an extremely thoughtful little kid and gentlemanly manners.

The family hopes that he will give his studies as much interest as he gives to his drumming and dancing. I personally think he can do anything he puts his heart into.

Sometimes, even small people can be a big source of inspiration.

Traditions then and now

The traditional Sinhala and Tamil New Year which falls in April was a fun time for me as a child. We looked forward to this joyous occasion, which fell right after the school holidays began. It was a time when relatives gathered at my grandparent's house. There were plenty of games, food, fireworks and laughter. Now our grandparents are no longer around, so the relatives don't gather as much and families are getting smaller in size and living further apart.

The New Year is kind of a big deal in my culture. There is astrological significance in planetary shifts, there are auspicious times to do certain things, there are certain directions you have to look at while doing these customs, certain colours you have to wear, etc. All with the promise of bringing in good luck and prosperity.

I feel sandwiched between two generations of differing thoughts. My parents follow the traditions with a lot of devotion with no questions asked. Projecting ahead, the generations after me will see little point in following some of these traditions at all. I am stuck in a place where I want to keep the traditions going for it's cultural and nostalgic significance but I see little meaning in some of them.

This pattern is evident in other aspects of the culture too - religious events, funerals, weddings. While many of us question the significance of some customs, we feel compelled to follow through.

Of course, questioning the meaning of traditions and demanding evidence is akin to being a jerk. Some can argue that unique traditions from various cultures make the world a more interesting place, it helps people to bond and it keeps the generations connected in a special way.

An important aspect of maintaining traditions is that older generations set an example and pass down the knowledge to younger generations. With a growing number of skeptics, smaller families, geographic isolation, inter-racial marriages, etc, there is bound to be some "dilution" of traditions in the years to come. In a way, I admire families that make an effort to stay connected with extended families and keep annual traditions going just so the younger generations have something special to learn and experience.

The boiling of milk in a new earthen pot for the New Year until it overflows signifies the abundance of prosperity

Except food - no one questions the cultural significance of food! 

Just do it!

I'm home for the New Year holidays. Like Singapore's Chinese New Year, this is one of the longest holidays that people here get to enjoy with their loved ones.

While life goes on here and I have a growing number of tasks on my plate, I've been feeling somewhat paralysed and defeated by my own state of inaction lately. What I previously thought of as procrastination might actually be a case of "analysis paralysis". Maybe the two are related. Yes, I'm constantly on the hunt for fitting labels to my psychological problems!

Analysis paralysis is defined as the state of over-analyzing (or over-thinking) a situation so that a decision or action is never taken, in effect paralyzing the outcome (Wikipedia).

There might be many reasons for this condition, according to my analysis (hah!). Being too theoretical, spending too much time inside the head, trying to meet unrealistic ideals for deliverables like reports (a.k.a. perfectionism) and over-estimating the amount of work that goes into making a perfect deliverable. While it can lead to good quality outputs, it's a terrible way to live, really. And it's certainly not the way to work smart or efficiently. 

It is also possible that over-thinking to an extreme can lead one to being disconnected with reality over time. For an over-thinker, I think that being sanely present in reality is a fine balance between the interpretation of facts and external feedback on one side and going with assumptions and intuition on the other side. 

So my resolution THIS new year, is that I'll try to think less and just act on the things I have to do! Kind of like the Nike inspired memes below.

The strategy is to go from this state of mind...

(Image source: The Oatmeal)

... to this.

As Bruce Lee once said, “If you spend too much time thinking about a thing, you’ll never get it done.”

The Bermuda Triangle

I have come to the conclusion that my seating area in the office is a mini Bermuda Triangle. Several things of value have gone missing lately. Few days ago, I decided to search for a missing camera in a big box located behind my chair. I had noticed this box lying there, closed up, since the day I joined.

I nearly fell off my rotating chair the moment I opened that box because, man, I did NOT see what was coming!

The Bermuda Triangle. Image Source: Unmuseum.

IT WAS A BOX FULL OF CONDOMS. Not just one or two or ten, but a box so full that you can even dive into it. Kind of like this:

Image source: Life & Style

Of course, I am exaggerating a bit. And it was not too surprising either. The UNAIDS office had just moved out before I arrived and had asked our office to hold some things for them. Still, a few days after discovering the big box of condoms, I was equally unprepared to find a dildo in the filing cupboard. My reaction to that discovery was similar to finding a big flying cockroach inside a filing cupboard. I can only assume that it was one of the props used by UNAIDS for demonstration purposes in their HIV awareness campaigns.


Holy shit, Shuri! You have been guarding a big box of condoms like a dragon ALL THIS TIME!!!

Should we take some??? No Shuri, that's stealing. But it was meant for free distribution. And there's so much of them!!! It's still stealing because it wasn't handed out to you by UNAIDS. 

Besides, why do YOU need them??? Because they say it's better to be safe than sorry, and what good are protection measures if they aren't easily accessible at all times in all circumstances???

And how are you going to explain condoms to your mother?

~ ~ ~

AIDS (Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome) is a serious issue in the 21st century. The number of new infections occurring is still wildly out of control. Thanks to various awareness campaigns and advances in antiretroviral drugs, there are better chances for fighting AIDS/HIV. However, things like poverty, lack of awareness, social stigma and lack of support from religious organisations are standing in the way of eliminating this disease.

HIV (Human Immunodeficiency Virus) is transmitted by sexual contact, significant exposure to infected body fluids or tissues and from mother to child during pregnancy, delivery or breastfeeding. There is no risk of acquiring HIV if exposed to faeces, nasal secretions, saliva, sputum, sweat, tears, urine or vomit unless these are contaminated with blood.

GLOBAL HIV STATISTICS for 2016

• 78 million [69.5 million–87.6 million] people have become infected with HIV since the start of the epidemic (end 2015)
• 35 million [29.6 million–40.8 million] people have died from AIDS-related illnesses since the start of the epidemic (end 2015)

• In 2015, there were 36.7 million [34.0 million–39.8 million] people living with HIV.

• As of June 2016, 18.2 million [16.1 million–19.0 million] people living with HIV were accessing antiretroviral therapy, up from 15.8 million in June 2015 and 7.5 million in 2010.
• In 2015, around 46% [43–50%] of all people living with HIV had access to treatment.
• In 2015, some 77% [69–86%] of pregnant women living with HIV had access to antiretroviral medicines to prevent transmission of HIV to their babies.

• Worldwide, 2.1 million [1.8 million–2.4 million] people became newly infected with HIV in 2015.
• New HIV infections among children have declined by 50% since 2010.
  • Worldwide, 150 000 [110 000–190 000] children became newly infected with HIV in 2015, down from 290 000 [250 000–350 000] in 2010.
• Since 2010 there have been no declines in new HIV infections among adults.
  • Every year since 2010, around 1.9 million [1.9 million–2.2 million] adults have become newly infected with HIV.

• AIDS-related deaths have fallen by 45% since the peak in 2005.
  • In 2015, 1.1 million [940 000–1.3 million] people died from AIDS-related causes worldwide, compared to 2 million [1.7 million–2.3 million] in 2005.

• Tuberculosis-related deaths among people living with HIV have fallen by 32% since 2004.
  • Tuberculosis remains the leading cause of death among people living with HIV, accounting for around one in three AIDS-related deaths.

Source: http://www.unaids.org/en/resources/fact-sheet

I might be the Flash!

I really shouldn't be blogging because I'm supposed to have other priorities today. Sigh.

Yesterday, I set off to work from home, covering approximately 150 km in 4 hours to make it to an important meeting. On the same evening, I covered another 150 km in the bus and train to be back home to cover the B&B for two days while my mother was supposed to have a small medical procedure. Unfortunately, the return trip didn't have confirmed seats so it was two hours of standing in a crowded train until I finally got a seat to sit for the next one hour.

I was standing beside a young couple with a toddler. The toddler even smiled at me a few times and I smiled back of course. On principle, I make sure to acknowledge all smiles and waves from children. We shouldn't make them feel negative or rejected too early in life.

After some time, the people in the train were all lost in their thoughts as the train journey continued. I was daydreaming as usual while listening to calming music and watching the passing scenery when suddenly when one of the smaller bags in the overhead compartment above me fell. My hand reacted involuntarily and caught it mid air and it was only a split second after I caught it that I emerged from the depths of my daydreaming to realise what happened! I wanted to shake the people standing next to me and ask "DID YOU SEE THAT??? I'VE ONLY SEEN THE FLASH DO THAT BEFORE!!". I didn't of course, for fear of being thrown out of the train.

The Flash 

(Image Source: GTA 5 Mods)

It was a baffling experience for me. The best explanation I can think of was that I am the Flash! No, but seriously though, I think it was the presence of a toddler directly below the overhead compartment which kept a subconscious part of my brain alert since I recently watched a bag fall on a man sitting in front of me. That, or this incident never happened and I was just daydreaming all along.

Stress levels are really high these days and I'm trying not to go up in flames. Thankfully, there are plenty of good things going that keeps me afloat. Like learning new things on the job, or having moments of joy watching a sunrise from my seat in the train or having a group of incredibly supportive classmates (having similar levels of stress) to fall back on for lab reports, help with tutorials and revisions during exams.

From the Colombo Fort station

 Watching a sunrise always gives me a renewed sense of hope...

 ...and a reminder that each day can be a beginning of something new

 I even felt the warmth of the Sun's rays touch my skin through the train window. That, with the right music can easily take someone to Cloud 9.

What I need to do now is to find a way to shift to a lower gear because this hill is getting harder to climb.