Today, I feel like a stranger on my own blog! It's been awhile since I've been able to get in touch with my inner self and have a good enough conversation to document here. Without this hobby, my life feels like it's missing a tiny but essential piece, which is why I decided to come here today in an attempt to revive this creative outlet which has helped me in the past to find myself.
As life flows by in an automated routine, I'm beginning to feel like I'm losing my bearings and the sense of purpose. What were my beginnings? Where was it that I was supposed to go? What was it that I enjoyed doing? With whom did I like to hang out?
Right.
I have the all the maps, plans and lists. But is this what I want to do? Really, would it be worth the trouble?Why can't I keep doing what I'm doing now? Is my zeal clouded by weariness?
Where am I?
~ ~ ~
The Toastmasters meetings held every fortnight have developed into somewhat of an interest. I actually look forward to it. I still am failing badly at addressing the public with vocal expression and thinking on my feet when put on the spot. I assume that the skill of public speaking is going to be one of those long distance marathons I have to run in life when I'm no athlete. But besides that, listening to the speeches and different points of view of other members have been slowly expanding my tiny universe. Most often, topics are varied, contains human emotion and are well thought out, making them good brain food. It's also a refreshing change to see depth to a human character during the brief moments that they make themselves vulnerable and exposed in a speech.
The people at the Toastmasters meetings who were strangers and made me feel anxious three months ago are mostly my friends now and I no longer feel threatened by them. I actually feel it's okay to fail in a speech in front of their eyes.
Shu survives the first speech. Now there's nine more to go!
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