This office is an old-fashioned, large, single-floor house that has been converted to a multi-purpose office. I learnt that this place has a lot of history. Even now, the building has remnants of various publications stacked up in shelves, novels written by a famous local author (deceased) and lots of artwork on the walls that depict womanhood through the eyes of various artists (they tell me there used to be many art workshops then). The place is owned by three NGOs that work on women’s rights. Things have quietened down now for women’s rights activists. Most of those young activists who started out many decades ago are old now, some have passed away and some have moved to other sectors like the environment (and that’s how I got to know some of them). Parts of the office have now been leased to other NGOs like ours.
Work of an unknown artist which is hung right opposite my desk. Pretty depressing sight, if you ask me. Shows a bride looking at a reflection of herself with two kids in tow, bent over a large pot of food while also doing other house chores. I'm going to request for a change of scenery!
One lady remembers those glory days of theirs when they marched in the streets for women’s rights. She tells me that young people these days don’t like to do that. That’s true, I prefer to voice out from behind a laptop screen than shout out in the streets (even for environmental causes). My generation has it a little easier, I suppose. Back then, times were worse for women; there was more oppression, less opportunities in education and work, early marriages, female child labour, basically many things to fight for. Now there are little or no barriers in education for women in Sri Lanka. Career-wise, the gender ratios are healthier. Under-aged children working as "servants" (that's what they call them in Sri Lanka) are rare because laws are tough on people who try to exploit children. Under-aged marriages have reduced with better literacy rates. What remains are mostly the age-old issues like rape, domestic violence, power imbalance in marriages with a dominating male partner, unfair division of labour in marriages and objectification of women. These are the ongoing struggles of most women in vulnerable communities and some women in not-so-vulnerable communities.
This lady, who I assume is in her sixties tells me she worked hard and mostly voluntarily (to the dismay of her family sometimes) with NGOs when she was young to push for equal opportunities for women and bring about social reform. She’s quite the remarkable character and what strikes me the most is her skill in dealing with people from all social strata with ease; all the way from the top (politicians, high profile people, academics) to colleagues and down to the level of people who work for her (like her helpers and drivers) and people from low income backgrounds. Although she’s moved to the environment sector now, I could tell her passion lies in fighting injustice for women in marginalised and oppressed communities. She’s great (and hilarious) when it comes to conversations on open-minded topics, marriage, women’s reproductive rights, male chauvinists, religious leaders who take a keen interest on women’s genitals, injustice to the environment, etc. On field visits, she’s the best travel buddy anyone could wish for because she’s so curious to explore new areas, try new food from roadside places specially the home-cooked types, buy fruits and vegetables from small roadside vendors (and distribute to her friends later) and strike conversations with random people to learn about interesting facts. She still has so much fire and a thirst for adventure for her age that when I am with her, I feel it’s contagious. But this post was not meant to be about her!
This post is about another lady who used to work in one of the NGOs, again on women’s rights. I’ve been told she was quite the fire cracker back then. Now she’s become ordained as a Buddhist nun, lives forcibly in this office and emotionally blackmails anyone who tries to evict her, saying that they would go to hell. Normally, monks and nuns take up a life of simplicity, living on charity after having given up their material possessions, in order to focus on selfless service to the community and the pursuit of spiritual goals. On the other hand, this nun has become very possessive and has forcibly acquired furniture, appliances and even a scythe-like tool for cutting grass, claiming it’s hers now. There’s a box with a padlock in the kitchen, which I am told contains her kitchen utensils. She’s paranoid when vehicles comes to the office and goes, and she relies on a few neighbours to spy on “suspicious” activities in the office while she's not around. As I’ve also been told, she’s too curious and goes through our office belongings after we leave, so we have to lock up everything and leave nothing open on the tables. She acquires things like soap that has been put in the toilet for common use. She rarely speaks good of anyone, too, I hear. She’s basically impossible to communicate with, irrational, hasn’t developed the skills to respectfully co-exist with other people (which is why she can’t survive in a nunnery with other nuns) and uses the excuse of religion to establish some kind of authority over others through fear. Well, those fear tactics could work for someone who believes they can go to hell for offending anyone claiming to be a holy person or is wearing a uniform of a holy person.
Now everything I’ve heard so far are one-sided (yet similar) accounts from about three people. Being here only a few days, I am yet to meet this personality who sounds like a character from a tele-drama plot! On the other hand, it’s good to be informed. Given my hopeless level of assertiveness (as a close friend recently pointed out, I apparently have the assertiveness of a water flea), I fear I might be caught in the cross fire of these estrogen-powered politics and be expected to take sides. At times like these, I remember the ease with which I worked in an all-male team in my previous job. If there is no threat of harassment from male colleagues, things are much simpler and straightforward with men.
I'm no psychologist and my predictions of people have failed many a time. From what I’ve gathered about her behaviour, she appears mentally imbalanced and suffers from a variety of mental complexes like paranoia. She's most probably deeply unhappy, frightened and is probably a lonely soul inside. Also the relationship my colleagues have with her might be one full of misunderstandings and unaddressed emotions build over a long course of history working together, and therefore biased.
Feeling compassionate for people exhibiting unnatural behaviour and trying to be nice to them or help them have almost always back fired on me, so I’m going to remain super cautious on this one. Also, this situation made me realise how much (good) relationships matter in life. You have to be ready to give as much as you are willing to take from the people around you.
On a positive note, I suppose we have to feel thankful to the women (and feminist men) before us, who fought for equal opportunities and created waves of change in society. The battles are not over, but it is because of their courage, defiance to conform, their struggles and their vision that we have the level of comfort we have today. So is it also not our duty to speak up for injustice (of any kind) when we see it around us?
On a positive note, I suppose we have to feel thankful to the women (and feminist men) before us, who fought for equal opportunities and created waves of change in society. The battles are not over, but it is because of their courage, defiance to conform, their struggles and their vision that we have the level of comfort we have today. So is it also not our duty to speak up for injustice (of any kind) when we see it around us?
No comments:
Post a Comment