Workplace tales

Lately, a lady from work uses me for a free shrink. We are in no way close and I don't open up to her about my personal life. May be I look like a safe target to unload worries or may be I come off as a good listener because I prefer not to give my two cents worth to people I'm not close with, but she sure goes into lengthy detail about her life and personal issues. I try to hurry my steps as I pass her table during peak hours. Shu feels guilty but at the same time, Shu is not that selfless.

We have a coffee machine at work. It dispenses several types of cheap-tasting beverages in very minute quantities at a time. Employees are allowed unlimited access to these so when I am bored, I try mixing different combinations to 1. have a decent volume of beverage to consume and, 2. attempt to make better tasting ones.

1. Black coffee - normal black coffee
2. White coffee - normal cheap-tasting white coffee
3. Cappuccino - too much froth and too little coffee
4. Mochaccino - hardly lives up to the reputation of 'mocca' and has three times the recommended sugar
5. Expresso - worse than any coffee anyone has ever tasted
6. Chocolate - concentrated chocolate drink, again with three times the recommended sugar
7. Chocomilk - identical to 6. So I figure it is there just to confuse employees
8. Tea with cardamom - this is a joke. It dispenses plain hot water, to which one is supposed to add a tea bag from elsewhere and add a little cardamom harvested from elsewhere

Through many experiments, I have discovered that combinations 3+4 and 2+6 are the best options to satisfy random chocolate cravings and stay awake after a heavy lunch. I suppose I should be grateful we at least have an abundant source of warm beverages to rely on.

Also at work, I am irritated by one of the hired cleaners who comes to clean the office every evening. Before that, I must admit I suffer from a condition called hyperparanoidism so it is possible I overthink things. He keeps giving me constant glances (I usually ignore him, but sometimes my line of vision does meet his gaze and I often find him staring) and like with a lot of people from his country, he automatically breaks into a song when I walk by sometimes. Now, this is not new to me and it only adds onto the countless observations and experiences gathered over the years with this 'sub-species'. Males from different countries/ cultures/ species have different ways of trying to get noticed by the fairer sex. These range from catcalls, songs, poems, display of colourful feathers (or other parts), flattering gifts, building structures to even stalking and making unwelcome physical advances. How much of a success/ failure rate each method has, I cannot be certain.

As it happened in the STONE AGES. How far have we advanced as a society since then?

There are other dimensions to think about when speaking of propagation of species. Like what females do to be attracted by the opposite sex or how females react when they come across a specimen of interest. BUT... I've been called for dinner twice now and if I'm reminded once more, I might snap, so I better go enjoy the dinner prepared with a lot of trouble by our hired help. Her food rocks.